Jeez, I Already Know How to Pass Out at Parties

Slutty waitress: My baby daughter is driving me insane!
Waiter: That'll teach you to pass out at parties.
(slutty waitress glares, storms off)
Waiter, shrugging: Well, it should.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on July 23, 2016
Bimbettes, Coworkers, Drinking, Family, Gripes, Indiana

Oh Well. Later, Orphans!

Young guy to girl: I see you everyday and I'm completely unaffected.

Valparaiso, Indiana

Overheard by: jake

Posted on May 6, 2016
Feelings, Friends, Indiana, Relationships

9AM Back to Work

Co-worker: She was like, “Nigga, just drop me off at daycare and go about your business.”

11100 USA Parkway
Fishers, Indiana

Overheard by: minkey

Posted on April 18, 2016
Coworkers, Family, Indiana, Insults, Race, Time Management

Don't I Get Enough Of That at Home?

Fat bank manager: I need to leave a deposit right on your lap.
Hot teller: Oh, dear lord.

Fifth Third Bank
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on March 12, 2016
Body Parts, Financial Folk, Indiana, Money, Technology, Weirdness

Can’t You Hear the Quotation Marks, You Little Punk?

Teacher: Can you say, ‘Open the door’ in Spanish?
Preschooler: Open the door in Spanish.

Learning center
Bloomington, Indiana

Posted on January 19, 2016
Indiana, Language barrier, Students, Teachers

You Want Mine? I’m Suddenly Not Hungry Anymore

Boss: I hate these burritos. The ingredients aren’t mixed up at all. It’s like a fetus they mangled into a tortilla.

North Meridian Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Developer

Posted on January 3, 2016
Bosses and Underlings, Indiana, Meals and Snacks

I Think You’ll Like the Results

Boss : What is that red thing on top of a rooster’s head called? I can’t find a description anywhere on the Internet.
Employee: Just Google ‘cock’ and ‘diagram.’

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Sailorette

Posted on December 30, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Indiana, Midwest, Possible Sexual Harassment, United States

…At Least Until We Pass Our Teaching Certification Test

Woman on phone: Uhhuh… Well, we just have to learn how not to be child molesters.

Walnut Street
Evansville, Indiana

Posted on December 28, 2015
Crimes, Default, Indiana, On the phone, Weirdness

For Your Comfort and Safety, Remember That Kids Are Pretty Literal

School social worker, to kindergartner on lap: So what happened right before you ran out of your classroom?
Kindergartner: I’m peeing.
Social worker: What do you mean, you’re peeing?
Kindergartner: I’m peeing.
Social worker: [jumps up, displaying huge wet spot on her pants]Kindergartner: I TOLD you I was peeing.

5130 Roxbury Road
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Fair warning given

Posted on November 24, 2015
Comebacks, Indiana, Kids, Questions, Restroom, Teachers

She'll Get Your Good Side, If You Have One

Neurologist: Okay, well, Tim…the bathroom's right around the corner. Why don't you head in there and go as much as you can? Then Carol will come in and take a picture.

Shelbyville, Indiana

Overheard by: Confused at the Neurologist

Posted on November 23, 2015
Doctors, Health & Hygiene, Indiana, Offers and requests, Restroom, Weirdness