Waiter to other servers: Okay, just so everyone knows, there's a Sasquatch loose somewhere in the bathroom.
Chicago, Illinois
I-banker: Why can’t we just donate money to hire people to do this work?
2615 W. 84th Place
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker to the whole office: Does anyone know where Arkansas is? It's on the West Coast, right?
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker #1: I feel as though I had a one night stand with this muffin. I only took one bite.
Coworker #2: It's not your fault that it's not the type of person you call back.
Coworker #1: This muffin's a skank.
Coworker #2: I want to marry this bagel.
Chicago, Illinois
Manager: Here you go.
Employee: Oh, thank goodness. This is what she’s looking for…I’m so glad you found it. I would have had to redo it right now.
Manager: I found it on your desk.
303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Scientist: My momma always told me to never throw lasers.
Lecture Hall
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: dulcibella
Caller: Yes, I would like to confirm my reservation for tonight. My surname is Tango Anglo-Saxon, Newfoundland–
Receptionist: Um, sir, you lost me at ‘Tango.’ Can I just have the first three letters of your last name?
Kinzie and State Streets
Chicago, Illinois
Male coworker: You missed it! Devon* and I just had a staring contest in which we tried to figure out the color of each other’s eyes.
Female coworker: So, what was the verdict?
Male coworker: That it was too creepy, so we stopped.
1750 East Golf Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Supervisor to manager: You know I’m leaving work early today, right?
Manager: That’s right… For what, again?
Supervisor: I’m getting my cat shaved.
(pause)
Supervisor: My cat… like, our pet cat. A feline.
Ambassador East Hotel
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: laughing one cubicle over
