Ex-Army: I’m dumb as a rock and I still graduated number two in my class.
Ex-Marine: That’s the Army for you.
250 South Country Fair Drive
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: zundian
Ex-Army: I’m dumb as a rock and I still graduated number two in my class.
Ex-Marine: That’s the Army for you.
250 South Country Fair Drive
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: zundian
Receptionist, as boss “innocently” puts hand down his pants to re-adjust: Are you out all next week? I have something for you…but I left it at home.
The Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Man #1: I’m redecorating my cube with black velvet paintings.
Man #2: I’ve got a black velvet prom dress…
333 Corporate Woods Parkway
Vernon Hills, Illinois
Man at urinal #1: I hate it when we have visitors and have to wear ties.
Man at urinal #2: Oh shit! I think I just pissed on mine.
Chicago, Illinois
Middle-aged customer: Give me two packs of them Basic cigarettes.
Sales clerk rings up cigarettes and register beeps: It wants me to check your ID.
Middle-aged customer: I don’t have no ID.
Sales clerk: How old are you?
Middle-aged customer: Uh. Um. 40… 50… 50-something.
Sales clerk: Okay, $9.75.
Walgreens, 5650 West Belmont Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Guy #1: Is this a picture of your daughter?
Guy #2: Yeah. She’s really starting to fill out.
1501 E. Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Office negative Nelly: I don't know what I'm going to do. But the next time I get paid, I'm going to do something strange and weird with it.
Positive sidekick: Really? Strange and weird?
Office negative Nelly: Okay, maybe not weird, but definitely strange. There's a difference?
Chicago, Illinois
Cubicle dweller on phone: If I didn't see gay sex when the server started, I'd be worried.
Itasca, Illinois
19-year-old intern: I’m totally getting laid tonight and I have my dad to thank for it!
State and Water Street
Peoria, Illinois
Boss: Does anyone have a stapler?
Peon: No, but we have hope!
Chicago, Illinois
