Female coworker, as free surprise deep-dish pizza is brought into office: Damn! Why did I choose today to bring a salad!?
Male coworker: Girl, you better toss that salad! I mean, throw it away!
Chicago, Illinois
Female coworker, as free surprise deep-dish pizza is brought into office: Damn! Why did I choose today to bring a salad!?
Male coworker: Girl, you better toss that salad! I mean, throw it away!
Chicago, Illinois
Boss on phone: Yeah, you’re a client, but if you don’t pay your bills, you’re only half a client… And not the half I want.
473 Central Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: web edit monkey
Customer: I didn’t realize that I was eligible for this discount!
CSR: Well, we talk about the discount right on the cover letter.
Customer: Well, it’s not right on the application!
CSR: We can’t put it on the application, but sir, it’s right there in the second paragraph of the cover letter.
Customer: But some of us are lazy and don’t read the cover letter!
CSR: I’m not trying to be rude, but we can’t help it if you don’t read what we send you.
181 West Madison Street
Chicago, Illinois
Supervisor: I think my bird is dying. What should I do?
Coworker #1: Put it in a bag and tie it to your car exhaust.
Coworker #2: Put it in the freezer.
Coworker #3: Put in a bag and whack it.
Supervisor: You people scare me… Go back to work.
Chicago, Illinois
Boss in team meeting: I know these conversations are going nowhere, but we’re on a deadline so we need to get nowhere faster!
Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Ex-Army: I’m dumb as a rock and I still graduated number two in my class.
Ex-Marine: That’s the Army for you.
250 South Country Fair Drive
Champaign, Illinois
Overheard by: zundian
Receptionist, as boss “innocently” puts hand down his pants to re-adjust: Are you out all next week? I have something for you…but I left it at home.
The Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Man #1: I’m redecorating my cube with black velvet paintings.
Man #2: I’ve got a black velvet prom dress…
333 Corporate Woods Parkway
Vernon Hills, Illinois
Man at urinal #1: I hate it when we have visitors and have to wear ties.
Man at urinal #2: Oh shit! I think I just pissed on mine.
Chicago, Illinois
Middle-aged customer: Give me two packs of them Basic cigarettes.
Sales clerk rings up cigarettes and register beeps: It wants me to check your ID.
Middle-aged customer: I don’t have no ID.
Sales clerk: How old are you?
Middle-aged customer: Uh. Um. 40… 50… 50-something.
Sales clerk: Okay, $9.75.
Walgreens, 5650 West Belmont Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
