Office drone #1: Tomorrow we need to talk about that thing we were going to talk about last week but didn't because of the other thing.
Office drone #2: Right.
Office drone #3: You could have just called. Now we're all sitting here wondering and guessing what that mystery message is about.
Office drone #1: Oh, you're fine.
Office drone #3: Damn right! 24/7!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Lackey
Office girl #1: Oh, okay, I thought you were going to say something like “and then the video was a porno.”
Office girl #2: No, it was more disturbing, I wish it had been a porno!
Guy: Porno? You were in a porno?
Office girl #1: What? No!
Guy: Oh! Wait, have you been to college yet?
Office girl #2: Um, no.
Guy: Oh, I thought we were about to share a moment here.
Chicago, Illinois
Blonde on cell: Yeah, well, I didn’t think I could either ’cause I was on those antibiotics, but he said I could, so that’s cool.
Elevator, large insurance company
Bloomington, Illinois
Overheard by: even that was too much information for me
Salesperson: How long does it take to get to London from here?
Purchasing Agent: Well, I’m not sure, but coming back is faster because it’s opposite the direction of the rotation of the Earth.
1506 Detweiller Drive
Peoria, Illinois
Disheveled cashier to customer buying towels: So I said to my daughter, “No, you can't have another towel. When you come out of the shower you are clean, so you can just keep using that same towel until next month.”
Wal-Mart
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: Lindsey B
Male employee, angry about benefits: So my live-in girlfriend is not a domestic partner but Steve's* boyfriend is?
HR generalist: Yes, that's right. Domestic partners are same sex partners, that is the policy.
Male employee: So if my girlfriend became my boyfriend I could put her on my insurance?
HR generalist: Yes, if she grows a penis and discovers a deep abiding love for Cher, she can be on your insurance.
Male employee: Really?
HR generalist: (sighs)
Skokie, Illinois
Male coworker, messing with SIRIUS Radio: How does everyone feel about dance music? Yes? No?
Female coworker: No.
Male coworker: I like it, it makes me feel like I'm clubbing. Except that I don't go clubbing anymore. I'm worried about getting stabbed.
Female coworker: Uh…
Male coworker: I can't help it.
Female coworker: I guess you do have a pretty stabbable face…
Chicago, Illinois
CSR guy: I swear to God, if [Becca] wasn’t pregnant I would have tackled her.
515 N State Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Cube Monkey
Office drone: I'm totally gay for Matthew Fox.
Illinois
