HR manager to teammate: Come and smell my apples.
Burnaby
British Columbia
Canadia
HR manager to teammate: Come and smell my apples.
Burnaby
British Columbia
Canadia
New worker: So about the health benefit… will my son gets it?
HR: Of course.
New worker: What about my ex-wife? Because for sure I don't want that fucker to get anything.
Menlo Park, California
Office manager to HR manager: Did you go to the gym yesterday?
HR manager: No.
Office manager: Why not?
HR manager: Because I went home to drink.
Langley
Canadia
HR director: You look like hell. I mean, seriously exhausted.
HR manager: Thanks. That makes me feel tons better. Let me try it–you look like you're coming off of a three-day bender!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Loud HR director on “confidential” call: At the risk of sounding unethical…
Charlotte, North Carolina
Young cutie receptionist: Oh, fun, we get to dress up in costumes.
HR clerk: What are you talking about?
Young cutie receptionist: Well, if Andy can be at work dressed as a pirate, I should be able to wear a my kitten costume.
HR clerk: Andy got a metal filing in his eye. He went to the doctor and his eye is bandaged. Andy is not dressed as a pirate!
Young cutie receptionist: Does that mean the only way I can get to wear my kitten costume is if a doctor puts it on me?
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
New male employee: Does our company have a policy restricting facial hair?
HR: No. If we started restricting facial hair for men, then we'd have to restrict the women too and that's just too much work.
Technology Parkway, Massachusetts
HR to CEO: No retort needed, Timmy, the proof is in the pudding.
CEO: Mmmmm…pudding!
Lafayette, Indianapolis
Overheard by: Ag dEsigner
Receptionist: Oh, I forgot today was Friday the 13th. I do pay attention to that, because I was in a bad car accident in high school on a Friday the 13th.
HR assistant: So no going out and drinking tonight, then?
Receptionist (bemusedly): Well…
HR assistant: You’ll just stay home and drink, right?
Receptionist: (laughs) Yeah, that’s when you know you’re an alcoholic, when you stay home and drink.
HR assistant: And you’re pregnant.
Receptionist: Right. Don’t want people being judgmental at the bar.
Airport Way
Seattle, Washington
Manager: I’ll never get promoted. I’m misunderestimated.
[manager leaves]HR Clerk: If “misunderestimated” is defined as crapping your pants at work, then he is misunderestimated.
Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
