Sales: I am so cranky today. I must be getting my period.
Co-worker #1: Again? You just had it last week.
Sales: Yeah. The PMS starts every week Monday and ends on Friday.
Co-worker #2: That’s not PMS, that’s menopause.
11694 Lackland Road
St. Louis, Missouri
Worker #1: Working in an office has posed one major conundrum.
Worker #2: What's that?
Worker #1: Taking a shit.
Worker #2: Oh?
Worker #1: Yeah! At least when you work in retail you have those big restrooms that the public uses as well…
Worker #2: …
Worker #1: So when you shat you could blame it on the customers in the stall or go damn somebody dropped a biggun in here and the other employees would totally be unawares. In an office, it's a single toilet in the room and everybody sees you leave the crapper.
Worker #2: Yeah, I know what you mean I usually hold it.
Worker #1: I think I've developed stealth poo tactics. I'm like a poo ninja.
Worker #3: You know, you could just go to the other side of the building and shit in their toilets… Worker 1; poo ninja!!!!
Cincinnati OH
Overheard by: Ned No D
Doctor, to patient: I just saw an x-ray of your arm and it looks like shit.
North Shore Hospital
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
Cleaning lady, about deaf cleaning guy: I'm hiding up here from Tim–he wants me to help him clean that suite downstairs before the new company moves in. I don't wanna help him, cuz he never listens!
Columbus, Ohio
Attorney: I’m so pregnant… My husband always says, ‘Honey, you’re a whale!’ And then I tell him, ‘Shut up! You’re an immigrant!’
Admin: You should really stop saying that to him.
Attorney: Well, he is, and it’s a term of endearment! Like when I call you a dirty whore!
Hackensack, New Jersey
Office girl: No one go in the ladies’ room. The Bathroom Bomber strikes again.
1520 Front Street
Yorktown Heights, NY
Overheard by: miss earwell
Receptionist to boss: I just got a call from Mrs Smith. She said she fell out of her boat and hurt her scrotum.
Boss: Her scrotum?
Receptionist: Yeah, something on her back.
Boston, Massachusetts
Nurse: Are you currently on any birth control pill?
Patient: No.
Nurse: Are you currently using any other form of birth control?
Patient: No.
Nurse: Are you satisfied with your current birth control?
Patient: Umm? Yes?
Mason, Ohio
Overheard by: Always Satisfied
Hippie coworker: I was hoping to get sick today, but nothing happened. I didn't want to go into work.
Boston, Massachusetts
Finance: The pills the pharmacy gave me for my back looked funny. They were supposed to be oval and yellow but they are more long and white.
VP: So did you find out what the problem was?
Finance: Well, I called the pharmacy and they said that they had mistakenly given me anti-psychotics instead of my back medicine.
666 11th Street NW
Washington, DC
