Cleaning lady, about deaf cleaning guy: I'm hiding up here from Tim–he wants me to help him clean that suite downstairs before the new company moves in. I don't wanna help him, cuz he never listens!
Columbus, Ohio
Cleaning lady, about deaf cleaning guy: I'm hiding up here from Tim–he wants me to help him clean that suite downstairs before the new company moves in. I don't wanna help him, cuz he never listens!
Columbus, Ohio
Attorney: I’m so pregnant… My husband always says, ‘Honey, you’re a whale!’ And then I tell him, ‘Shut up! You’re an immigrant!’
Admin: You should really stop saying that to him.
Attorney: Well, he is, and it’s a term of endearment! Like when I call you a dirty whore!
Hackensack, New Jersey
Office girl: No one go in the ladies’ room. The Bathroom Bomber strikes again.
1520 Front Street
Yorktown Heights, NY
Overheard by: miss earwell
Receptionist to boss: I just got a call from Mrs Smith. She said she fell out of her boat and hurt her scrotum.
Boss: Her scrotum?
Receptionist: Yeah, something on her back.
Boston, Massachusetts
Nurse: Are you currently on any birth control pill?
Patient: No.
Nurse: Are you currently using any other form of birth control?
Patient: No.
Nurse: Are you satisfied with your current birth control?
Patient: Umm? Yes?
Mason, Ohio
Overheard by: Always Satisfied
Hippie coworker: I was hoping to get sick today, but nothing happened. I didn't want to go into work.
Boston, Massachusetts
Finance: The pills the pharmacy gave me for my back looked funny. They were supposed to be oval and yellow but they are more long and white.
VP: So did you find out what the problem was?
Finance: Well, I called the pharmacy and they said that they had mistakenly given me anti-psychotics instead of my back medicine.
666 11th Street NW
Washington, DC
Peon, to neighbor: At least I know how to spell it. I may not know how to spell totes, but I know how to spell that word.
Boss, interrupting: What do you know how to spell?
Peon: Vasectomy. V-a-s-e-c-t-o-m-y.
Boss: And in what context do you need to spell “vasectomy” in a work e-mail?
Peon: I just wanted to let you guys know what is going on with this dude, he's going to be on the phone a lot today.
Boss: Dude is getting a vasectomy?
Peon, pointing back and forth to her left and right boob: No, his grandma is.
Boss: Yeah, that's not a vasectomy.
Humble, Texas
Girl on phone: I’ve been doing kegels for a week and I haven’t pooped. I think I’m doing something wrong.
In front of Hart Senate Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Neena
Super-hyper guy: If anyone ever saw what I did to my peanut butter, then they definitely wouldn't want it!
Austin, Texas
