Coworker: This e-mail is giving me autism!
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Kate
Coworker: This e-mail is giving me autism!
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Kate
Director, pointing to picture: This sister? Is she older than you?
Employee: No I’m the oldest.
Director: She looks older than you. Both your sisters do.
Employee: That’s because they both stopped taking their estrogen. They dried up.
365 W Passaic St,
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cubicle right outside
Male coworker: I'm taking a Zumba class at the gym tonight.
Female coworker, deadpan: Isn't that what women do?
Male coworker, ignoring: They have this one thing where they make you link arms, and everyone is all covered in sweat.
Female coworker, still deadpan: You're going to get ringworm.
Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania
Woman to HR director: Can I get workers compensation for pulling my twat muscle?
HR director: What’s a twat muscle?
Dallas, Texas
Girl #1: Did somebody fart?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Oh wait, never mind, that's just somebody's food.
New York City, New York
Older, proper female professor #1, giggling: Well, I guess after that I should probably just invest in a new turkey baster.
Older, proper female professor #2: I should say so, my dear.
Swarthmore, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: This place is killing me…
Girl #1: Hey, do you want to do the Ann Landers 5k with me?
Girl #2: Ann Landers has her own 5k?
Girl #1: Yeah, it’s to raise money for whatever she died of.
Girl #2: I thought she just died of being old. Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a 5k to raise money to prevent old?
835 N. Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Cube girl #1: I keep smelling food.
Cube girl #2: Maybe you’re having a stroke.
Cube girl #1: Nooooo!
Viking Drive
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nicole
Large GSR #1: That food stinks!
Larger GSR #2: I know, I can smell it with my mouth!
Charleston, South Carolina
Man on phone: I'm having surgery next week. (pause) I'm having penis enlargement surgery. (pause) Yeah, but I don't really use mine much anymore. It's good for taking a whiz, and that's about it.
Salt Lake City, Utah
