Blonde: Oh my god, I had the most terrible dream last night!
Distracted-looking friend: Oh, really? What happened?
Blonde: I dreamed that someone told me I could only have one of the plastic surgeries I wanted! I almost cried! (entire elevator stifles laughter) No, really, why are you laughing? It was horrible!
Rome
Italy
Overheard by: struggling to keep a straight face
Receptionist to coworker: My whiney-ass husband was complaining that he slit his hand open.
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Father: Did you wash your hands?
Five-year-old kid returning from bathroom: Ummm… I’m pretty sure I didn’t get poop on them.
Dental office
Tigard, Oregon
Overheard by: Robin
Co-worker #1: Are the movers coming?
Co-worker #2: You might want to shut down your computer and gather you things so they can bring in your desk.
Co-worker #1: What time will they be here?
Co-worker #2: Noon. So you’ve got some time.
Co-worker #1: It’s 12:45!
Co-worker #2: Oh my gosh! I’ve got to start wearing a watch.
Co-worker #1: Why don’t you?
Co-worker #2: They give me rashes.
5203 Leesburg Pike
Falls Church, Virginia
Elderly sales rep: I still have that yeast infection thing I've had for 30 years.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
[sick worker comes to work]Boss: Shouldn’t you be at home eating Ginger Ale and Saltines?
Sick worker: Yeah, probably.
Boss: Everything’s better with Ginger Ale and Saltines.
Seagram’s Building
New York City, New York
Salesman #1: So did Fred ever call you back?
Salesman #2: No, but I sent anthrax to his office.
Louisville, Kentucky
Drone on phone: Oh yeah, my friend had that disease, he died… I’m sure you won’t die, though.
Storke Road
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: angelina
Cute chick holding up water bottle: Has this water gone bad?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: only cause i peed in it
Coworker on cell: Hey, I'm just calling to see if you're knee-deep in roach turds.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Jen
