It Wouldn't Be Christmas Without Mr. Hankey

Male employee, leaving bathroom: Be careful in there. I just gave birth to a little brown man!

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Gagging Uncontrollably

Posted on July 30, 2015
Employees, Health & Hygiene, Oklahoma, Restroom, Weirdness

It's More Of a Hobby, Really.

Interviewer, during phone interview: Do you have any experience with suppository management?

Cupertino, California

Posted on July 30, 2015
California, Health & Hygiene, Interviewers/Interviewees, On the phone, Questions, Words

We're Totally Trying This at Home Later

Male coworker, after giving himself makeshift manicure using staple remover: So I guess I'm not too good at that.
Female manager: Are you bleeding? Well, suck on it before you get an infection… and stop touching yourself!
Male coworker, whimpering: Aaaww…
Female manager: Gross!

San Diego, California

Overheard by: that's why you pay people to do that…

Posted on July 29, 2015
Advice, Bosses, California, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene

Let Me Know How That Works Out for You

Boss to vendor on phone: So, if we take a dump, how long before you can analyze it?

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: DB

Posted on July 29, 2015
Bosses, Colorado, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Questions, Restroom, Sales, Weirdness

That's What You Said About Boyfriends

Young receptionist: I keep finding cat scratches all over me!
Female accounts: Do you even have a cat?
Young receptionist: Yeah, I had to wash him.
Female accounts: Why in the hell would you wash a cat, they're self-cleaning!

Croydon Road
Australia

Posted on July 28, 2015
Animals, Australia, Financial Folk, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Receptionists

Your Beautiful, Beautiful Hands

Beauty shop owner: I need to know what day you'll be in to clean the floors, and you'd better stick to it or I'll kill you.
Floor cleaner guy: I've got to die sometime… It might as well as be by your hands.

Conroe, Texas

Posted on July 27, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Death, Health & Hygiene, Texas, Threats, Violence

A Stem Cell Smoothie Ought to Do the Trick

Supervisor: Here’s the information about Alzheimer’s to include in the news release I was telling you about.
Employee #1: I don’t know anything about this release.
Supervisor: Oh? Oh no? Then who was I talking to about it?
Employee #2: Hey, it’s ironic that you don’t remember who you were talking to about the Alzheimer’s information.
Supervisor: Oh, ha, ha, ha! Yes!…So, you can just use this information for the release.
Employee #1: Okay, but I still don’t know what you’re talking about.
Supervisor: Hmm…Hey, isn’t it ironic that I don’t remember who I was talking to about an Alzheimer’s release?

161 Ottawa Avenue NW
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Beth Marie