Boss to vendor on phone: So, if we take a dump, how long before you can analyze it?
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: DB
Boss to vendor on phone: So, if we take a dump, how long before you can analyze it?
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: DB
Young receptionist: I keep finding cat scratches all over me!
Female accounts: Do you even have a cat?
Young receptionist: Yeah, I had to wash him.
Female accounts: Why in the hell would you wash a cat, they're self-cleaning!
Croydon Road
Australia
Beauty shop owner: I need to know what day you'll be in to clean the floors, and you'd better stick to it or I'll kill you.
Floor cleaner guy: I've got to die sometime… It might as well as be by your hands.
Conroe, Texas
Supervisor: Here’s the information about Alzheimer’s to include in the news release I was telling you about.
Employee #1: I don’t know anything about this release.
Supervisor: Oh? Oh no? Then who was I talking to about it?
Employee #2: Hey, it’s ironic that you don’t remember who you were talking to about the Alzheimer’s information.
Supervisor: Oh, ha, ha, ha! Yes!…So, you can just use this information for the release.
Employee #1: Okay, but I still don’t know what you’re talking about.
Supervisor: Hmm…Hey, isn’t it ironic that I don’t remember who I was talking to about an Alzheimer’s release?
161 Ottawa Avenue NW
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Beth Marie
Building Engineer: A freon leak won’t kill you. It’ll just asphyxiate you a little.
2100 Second Street, SW
Washington, DC
Boss to junior staffer: Don't go take a poop and take forever!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Jeff
Home health nurse: Good morning, Mr Smith*. May I take your blood pressure?
Alzheimer's patient: Well, I don't know! What'll you give me for it?
Buena Park, California
Overheard by: his pastor
Female coworker: I think I’m going to go home. I’m not feeling well.
Gay coworker: I hope it’s not contagious.
Female coworker: No. It’s… woman problems. I don’t think you’ll get infected.
Gay coworker: You’d be surprised.
14th Street and Rhode Island Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Suprised
Meeting Attendee #1: When’s a good time to schedule the meeting with [Gary]?
Meeting Attendee #2: Well, he will be back from his heart attack next week.
2964 Peachtree Road NW
Atlanta, Georgia
Woman #1: I want a boy! How do I make a boy?
Woman #2: Like a baby?
Woman #1: Yeah, like a baby boy.
Woman #3: Well, my cousin did it! There's one way to get a girl, and another way to make a boy. I can ask him if you want.
Manhattan, New York
