Guy #1: Man it stinks in here.
Guy #2: HR should offer training in the courtesy flush.
12545 Riata Vista Circle
Austin, Texas
Guy #1: Man it stinks in here.
Guy #2: HR should offer training in the courtesy flush.
12545 Riata Vista Circle
Austin, Texas
Suit #1: Hey, how are you? Haven’t seen you in forever! Still married?
Suit #2: Yup, expecting my first.
Suit #1: Really! When?
Suit #2: November 7th. Bitch finally finished her PhD so she could work, and now she’s pregnant!
383 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker #1: Well, do they exude toxins?
Coworker #2: I dunno.
Coworker #1: The doctor had her block off one nostril and it shot right out. Just like CPR!
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Does this end with monkeys again?
Receptionist: How was everything today?
Male client: Oh, it was great! The massage was great, though I couldn't understand a word she said.
Receptionist: Well, it's a good thing that she's not massaging you with her mouth!
Day Spa
Manhattan, New York
Paralegal: What color is mozzarella?
Office manager: White, why?
Paralegal: Ummm…I'm going to need an extra bag, I am cleaning the fridge and that bag of mozzarella is like dark brown and green, and I don't mean spots…
Office manager: Uh-uh, here. (hands over bag) I hope it doesn't start moving.
(paralegal laughs and heads toward kitchen)
Paralegal (one minute later): Hey, what color is kiwi suppose to be?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: joey
Thin coworker girl, about carrot cake: I'll have seconds.
Middle-aged coworker woman: Your tapeworm wants another piece?
1000 Exposition
Los Angeles, California
Woman #1: I love Lean Cuisine.
Woman #2: Me too! We should be in commercials for them.
Woman #1: Yeah! We really should.
Woman #2: Know what else I would be in commercials for?
Woman #1: What?
Woman #2: Epidurals. (walks away)
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Steph
Thin male college student: I’m hungry all the time. I must be a fatty–that’s the only reasonable explanation, I think.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Elevator geek: An IUD is not a weapon. It's a contraceptive.
Elevator cougar: Depends on who you ask.
Portland, Oregon
Lady coworker #1: Lately I've been real irritable, lately.
Lady coworker #2: I heard something on tv about that.
Lady coworker #1: Really? What were they saying?
Lady coworker #2: Well, it was these ladies talking about irritable bowel syndrome… Wait, that's not what you're talking about, is it?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: So not irritable
