Don’t Even Be Eatin’ That Yogurt in Front of Me

Boss: There’s pizza in the back room for everyone in appreciation of your hard work!
Employee #1: Hey, Jen*, can you save me a slice? I can’t leave my desk right now.
Employee #2: Sure, I’ll bring two back. There should be enough for two slices per person.
Employee #3: You know, I work harder than the rest of you all combined; therefore, I should get the most fuckin’ pizza. Does anyone else here work as hard as me? I don’t fuckin’ think so. So that means that I get more pizza. I don’t want to see anyone eating more fuckin’ pizza than me.
Employee #2: So, Meredith*, what kind of pizza did you want?
Employee #1: Um, I think I’ll just… stick with my yogurt… Thanks.

570 Worcester Road
Framingham, Massachusetts

Posted on January 12, 2015
Bosses, Employees, General Idiocy, Gripes, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests

“This” Being “Business”

Sales Rep: This is what happens when you have an idiot like me doing this shit.

435 Metroplex Drive
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on January 10, 2015
General Idiocy, Gripes, Sales, Tennessee

2PM Schedule Tech Course

Boss: Hey, my mouse arrow is reversed on the screen.
Worker: What…how?
Boss: If I go this way, it goes that way…Oh, never mind, I was holding it upside down.

10199 Riverford Road
Lakeside, California

Posted on January 10, 2015
California, Dumb Bosses, Employees, General Idiocy, Gripes, Technology

It’s All-Natural Stink, Though

Executive secretary: Well, we might be a scent-free workplace, but we are certainly not a stink-free workplace.

Topeka, Kansas

Overheard by: Denise

Posted on January 10, 2015
Default, Gripes, Kansas, Receptionists, Sensory Experiences, Words

11AM Checking Gmail

Intern at computer, to self: I gotta get out of this relationship. She’s sending me pictures of jewelry.

3330 Founders Road
Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on January 9, 2015
Gripes, Indiana, Interns & Temps, Relationships, Technology

When White South Africans Dream

Loud white lady: Seattle was so beautiful… Then I get back here and it's like being in Africa!
Large black man It's not like Africa.
Loud white lady: Well, minus all the black people…

Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: itstooearlyforthis

Posted on January 9, 2015
Arizona, Compare and contrast, General Idiocy, Gripes, Outbursts, Race, Strangers

11AM Party Planning

Co-worker #1: Are you going to the Christmas party?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: Why not?
Co-worker #2: Because I am going to a funeral.
Co-Worker #1: I would rather go to a funeral than this Christmas party.

3001 West Big Beaver Road
Troy, Michigan

Posted on January 8, 2015
Coworkers, Gripes, Michigan

1PM Lunch

Co-worker on phone: Well, when I asked you over for lunch I asked if there was something you didn’t eat besides cheese…Well I’m just saying you should have told me you didn’t eat pork when I asked…Yes, I know you’re Jewish…Well whatever you are, you’re an idiot and a liar. You should have told me about the pork…Ew, she’s your first cousin.

622 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on January 4, 2015
Coworkers, Family, Gripes, Insults, Meals and Snacks, New York, On the phone, Outbursts, Religion

Just When You Were Starting to Miss Frasier…

Coworker #1: You know I had trouble finding a Die Zauberflöte ringtone on my phone.
Coworker #2: You know I had the same problem too.

Livonia, Michigan

Posted on January 2, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Michigan, Music, Technology

12PM Tech Support

Suit: Why hasn’t this customer’s problem been fixed yet?
Tech Guy: Because I’m the only person supporting this product; I’m really backlogged here. Every time I close one log I open four more. We don’t have enough people here to keep up.
Suit: Oh…well keep up the good work.

500 Lafayette Road
Hampton, New Hampshire

Posted on January 2, 2015
Gripes, New Hampshire, Questions, Sales, Suits, Tech People, Technology, Time Management

Gripes