Employee #1: I wouldn’t eat caviar. That’s fish eggs!
Employee #2: I’d try it…after all, I eat chicken eggs.
Employee #3: You eat chicken eggs?…Oh.
6525 N. Sheridan Road
Chicago, Illinois
Employee #1: I wouldn’t eat caviar. That’s fish eggs!
Employee #2: I’d try it…after all, I eat chicken eggs.
Employee #3: You eat chicken eggs?…Oh.
6525 N. Sheridan Road
Chicago, Illinois
Mom, to young child: That’s just more junk. I’m not going to buy you something to write with. How ’bout I get you some candy instead?
Dollar store
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: it’s not all like this
Project Manager: I hate these cubicles. Oh wait, they are not cubicles anymore. What are we supposed to call them? Coffices?
Field Manager: I like veal pens or officles.
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Woman co-worker: She’s just always been angry at the world. She thinks people don’t respect her because she’s a midget, and a single mother.
Crenshaw Blvd
Torrance, California
Manager: How could you let this happen?
Clerk: I forgot.
Manager: You forgot? How could you forget? It’s so hard to forget! It’s easy to remember and hard to forget! Remember that! Haven’t you ever forgotten something and you tried to remember it? That’s how easy it is to remember!
1618 Main St.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Ydnas
Manager: Man, I hate that rep. Only he has the power to permeate every fiber of my being with his earnest, sniveling, annoying little voice. “I’m sorry.” “Would you mind?” “Is it a problem?” Grow some balls, freak show!
105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York
Cube dweller #1, dressed as redneck hunter: Whew, that salsa’s hot! I can’t eat any more of it!
Cube dweller #2, dressed as kitty cat: She’ll eat wild beaver, but not hot salsa… [Coworkers stare.]
New Mexico
Overheard by: ummmm…..she’ll eat what?
Boss, setting down ancient computing equipment: I don’t know what’s going to happen when I turn this on. Hopefully it won’t catch on fire…
Minion: Then why is it on my desk?
Tyco Road
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Hiding behind the bookshelves
Field Services Manager: I can’t believe he brought up all those issues in front of [the client]. He made us look even more inept than we already sounded!
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Brian Brinegar
