Student: I just read the stupidest word on my Bio diploma. ‘Infer’? What the fuck does ‘infer’ mean?
1200 Festival Road
Sherwood Park, Alberta
Canadia
Manager: Man, I hate that rep. Only he has the power to permeate every fiber of my being with his earnest, sniveling, annoying little voice. “I’m sorry.” “Would you mind?” “Is it a problem?” Grow some balls, freak show!
105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York
Cube dweller #1, dressed as redneck hunter: Whew, that salsa’s hot! I can’t eat any more of it!
Cube dweller #2, dressed as kitty cat: She’ll eat wild beaver, but not hot salsa… [Coworkers stare.]
New Mexico
Overheard by: ummmm…..she’ll eat what?
Boss, setting down ancient computing equipment: I don’t know what’s going to happen when I turn this on. Hopefully it won’t catch on fire…
Minion: Then why is it on my desk?
Tyco Road
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Hiding behind the bookshelves
Field Services Manager: I can’t believe he brought up all those issues in front of [the client]. He made us look even more inept than we already sounded!
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Brian Brinegar
VP: Are you pregnant?
Worker #1: No!
VP: I’m just asking because it seems like you get pregnant every two months.
Worker #2: Hey! You can’t ask people if they are pregnant!
VP: I didn’t ask her if she was pregnant.
625 Mount Auburn Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Executive: If I had to use that, my arm would fall off!
Scientist: This coming from the guy with the largest disposable pipette!
Rockland, Maryland
Cube rat #1: Hey, come look at this! The way Firefox cuts off the wording on my tab spells out “web anal”!
Cube rat #2: What? What are you talking about?
Cube rat #1: Seriously. Instead of “web analytics,” it just says “web anal.” that cracks me up!
Cube rat #3: Hey, I'm actually with him on this one. I'm looking up a recipe right now to make my girlfriend for dinner, and coincidentally my tab says “basil bals” for “basil balsamic vinaigrette.” You gotta admit it's funny.
Cube rat #2: You two have no idea how much I hate you guys.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Intern, about weekend: My favorite monk wasn’t in my meditation class, which was upsetting!
202 West 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Children’s librarian: Do you mind?
Chick with breast exposed, nursing her baby: I’m sorry, is he sucking too loud?
York County Library
Rock Hill, South Carolina
