Older female: My Yahoo is full of spam.
Midwest
Teen girl: If I don’t get an A on this English test I’m going to be even screwed-er.
High school
Sterling, Virginia
Overheard by: The Mean Teacher
Fattie: I swear to Christ, I’m gonna shove that Blackberry up your ass if you bring it to another sales meeting.
1100 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Steven Grafing
Red-faced manager: Frozen again! God fucking dammit! Jesus fucking Christ! I'm getting really fucking pissed off at this motherfucking computer!
Nonchalant passerby: Kick it, then.
Plymouth, Michigan
Power broker #1: Two large cappuccinos.
Cashier: Thank you. That will be $4.50.
Power broker #1: Where’s the cinnamon?
Cashier: I’m sorry, we’re out of cinnamon.
Power broker #1: Then I don’t want it!
Cashier: Excuse me?
Power broker #2: Okay, let’s just bring it back to the office.
Power broker #1: No! Just give me my money back. I can’t drink the foamy milk without the cinnamon.
100 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Mark
Developer: “I’m sorry I gave you herpes.” They have a card for everything.
8920 Pershall Avenue
Hazelwood, Missouri
Sales rep: No, we cannot move the piano on the ship… The piano cannot be moved… No, we cannot move it to another room… The piano cannot be moved… What do you not understand? We cannot move the piano!
Chelsea Piers, Pier 6
New York
Worker: [Jeff] didn’t come in because he has pneumonia. We went to the hospital yesterday.
Manager: Ever since you and [Jeff] started dating he’s begun falling apart. Now he’s got pneumonia. That’s what drugs will do to you; lower your immune system.
Worker: That couldn’t have been it…It’s been 2 weeks since we’ve taken ecstacy.
7350 S. Tamiami Trail
Sarasota, Florida
Coworker: I’m leaving early, y’all. I ripped my pants, and I can’t work with my vagina hanging out.
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Up against her for a promotion
