Gripes

CSR: You know sometimes when you blow, you can feel it in your throat?
Secretary: No, I don’t blow that hard.
CSR: Well, I blow hard and I can feel it sometimes. It sucks.

541 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Eve S Dropper

New training manager: Back in the day, I had a great idea. I know we’re into this touchy-feely self-esteem human resource stuff, but I said: “Take the supervisor who has the highest rate of unqualified, untrained direct reports, walk him to the end of the pier, and shoot him!” They told me I couldn’t do that. But it would have been effective!

75 Eastern Point Road
Groton, Connecticut

Coworker: I just love paying bills online — it is just so easy.
Blonde coworker: I know, it’s so great.
Coworker: The computer has really made things efficient.
Blonde coworker: I know — it is, like, sooo Antarctic to pay your bills by check nowadays.

30th floor, 55 East 52nd Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Greg Case

Boss: I went on a date with this guy, and he showed up with the most hideous, tacky tie on. So I just said, ‘That tie is so tacky’ and made him take it off and threw it into the nearest trash can. He thinks I’m so mean, but I’m telling you, he loves it.

171 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Grace Aldridge

Daughter-in-law cooing over another shopper’s baby: Awww — look at that face!
Mother-in-law: You’ll have one of your own soon.
Daughter-in-law: [Snorts] Talk to your son about that.
Mother-in-law: Well, that’s between the two of you, I think.
Daughter-in-law: You know how I am. If I don’t get what I want, I just go out and get it myself. Remember how I wanted a kitten?

Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Fellow shopper

Older female: My Yahoo is full of spam.

Midwest

Teen girl: If I don’t get an A on this English test I’m going to be even screwed-er.

High school
Sterling, Virginia

Overheard by: The Mean Teacher

Fattie: I swear to Christ, I’m gonna shove that Blackberry up your ass if you bring it to another sales meeting.

1100 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Steven Grafing

Red-faced manager: Frozen again! God fucking dammit! Jesus fucking Christ! I'm getting really fucking pissed off at this motherfucking computer!
Nonchalant passerby: Kick it, then.

Plymouth, Michigan

Power broker #1: Two large cappuccinos.
Cashier: Thank you. That will be $4.50.
Power broker #1: Where’s the cinnamon?
Cashier: I’m sorry, we’re out of cinnamon.
Power broker #1: Then I don’t want it!
Cashier: Excuse me?
Power broker #2: Okay, let’s just bring it back to the office.
Power broker #1: No! Just give me my money back. I can’t drink the foamy milk without the cinnamon.

100 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: Mark