Worker #1: We’re out of toilet paper.
Worker #2: The supply closet is empty.
Worker #1: I think they’re stuffing their vaginal canals with it to smuggle some home.
215 South Country Road
Bellport, New York
Worker #1: We’re out of toilet paper.
Worker #2: The supply closet is empty.
Worker #1: I think they’re stuffing their vaginal canals with it to smuggle some home.
215 South Country Road
Bellport, New York
Account Exec: …I stopped by this morning to go over stuff from the call but you were out. Were you at [the client]’s?
VP: No, actually, to be perfectly honest, I just ate way too many grapes this morning.
555 Sparkman Drive NW
Huntsville, Alabama
Suit #1: Why didn’t you guys invite [Joe] to eat with us?
Suit #2: Well, we asked him to come but he responded with gibberish and broke out in foreign tongues.
Suit #3: Yeah, I think he’s a terrorist.
US Department of State
2121 Virginia Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bradley
Former VP: I heard you were dreaming about me.
Executive Assistant: If the person gave you the impression that it was in a positive connotation, they were gravely mistaken.
1000 Voorhees Drive
Voorhees, New Jersey
Co-worker: Noon it is. I’m driving. But I have no room for dolphins in my car. Well…I have the room, but I didn’t get the tank option.
1301 E. Algonquin Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Editor #1: I don’t know why that French reporter couldn’t find a transgendered person. It’s not like transgendered people are a rare species that you can’t find anywhere.
Editor #2: Maybe she didn’t know where to look.
Editor #1: What do you mean, “where to look”? Transgendered people are everywhere.
487 Greenwich Street
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: We just had a premature install.
Co-worker #2: I hear lots of guys have that problem. Hell, [Alex] can’t even finish an install.
26 Century Boulevard
Nashville, Tennessee
Co-worker: That new guy is really dumb.
Speakerphone: Well it is fun watching him.
Co-worker: It’s like watching a cat shoveling shit with two broken paws.
8400 36th Street
Miami, Florida
Employee: I wanted to know where the line for disgruntled employees starts.
HR Secretary: Right behind me.
500 Federal Road
Brookfield, Connecticut
Female employee: I have to wear shoes with heels because it’s seen as “professional.”
Male employee: You may as well be wearing a burkha.
11 W. 53rd Street
New York, NY
