Classmate #1: I’m gonna shave your head and sell your hair on the black market!
Classmate #2: Why would black people want his hair?
Classmate #3, after laughter subsides: Where is the black market, anyway?
Mt. Vernon High School
Mt. Vernon, Texas
Classmate #1: I’m gonna shave your head and sell your hair on the black market!
Classmate #2: Why would black people want his hair?
Classmate #3, after laughter subsides: Where is the black market, anyway?
Mt. Vernon High School
Mt. Vernon, Texas
Know-it-all peon: I swear, every invention in this world was invented for war. Highways, the Internet — everything! Don’t you read?
Lady peon: Okay, Eric*! What about perms? Hot rollers weren’t made for war!
Know-it-all peon: Perms aren’t inventions.
Lady peon: My ass, they aren’t!
Waterloo, Iowa
Receptionist guy: Ohhh, it’s in the park!
Guest: Huh?
Receptionist guy: I’m addressing myself. I just chose you as the object I’m projecting upon.
454 W. 16th Street
New York, NY
Coworker: When you were younger, growing up in Mexico, you hated America because they had everything. You guys had everything. Then you grew up and you realized “the Joneses” were living right next to you and your parents were just poor.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Academic advisor #1: Isn't there some lake in Utah with a lot of salt in it?
Academic advisor #2: Salt… Lake… City?
Des Moines, Iowa
IT #1: I asked him if he was in the United States.
IT #2: I tell people if you want to buy a computer, call their support line. If you can’t stand the accent, don’t buy that computer.
1100 SW 6th Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Lesbian: Just say it: Vagina.
Queen: Virgina?
Lesbian: Vagina!
Editor: I can’t wait till our first lawsuit…
W 35th
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: token chick
Worker: What are those [paper bags with names on them]?
Boss: They’re for the holocaust thing today. … um, we’re remembering the holocaust, we’re not having another one.
East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Coworker #1: Did it rain while you were in Chicago?
Coworker #2: Nope.
Coworker #1: Oh, that’s good. I saw on the Weather Channel that it was raining in Virginia, and I got worried.
42 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
Boss: So, I can’t take more than one piece of hand luggage on board?
Coworker: That’s right.
Boss: And this is all because of 7-11?
Coworker: Ummm, do you mean 9-11?
Kent
England
