General Idiocy

Ditzy secretary to ditzy friend: I just ate, so I have total lunch-brain right now.

Gastown
Vancouver
Canadia

Man on phone: You should be in Boston, that's where Ben Franklin is from! The second President is from Boston!

Springfield, Massachusetts

Guy to librarian: So, I heard y'all umm…loan books here?

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Club Strozier

Lady on phone: Well, you know…surgery really takes something out of you.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Bearphan

Employee #1: I really want to learn Italian.
Employee #2: You should just go to Milan for the weekend! And then you'll come back and be all, merci beaucoup!

Manhattan
New York City, New York

Salesgirl #1: Can you believe that shooting at the Montage Resort in Laguna Beach?
Salesgirl #2: Yeah, it's the front page of the LA Times.
Salesgirl #3: I could really use a weekend getaway…I wonder if they are doing a shooting death discount.

Venice, California

Dumb employee: See, the thing about putting oil and vinegar into a squeeze bottle is that you have to make a decision… You either get oil, or you get vinegar.
Smart employee: Shake it?
Dumb employee: Well…you made a fool out of me.

Port Washington, New York

Overheard by: Chenga

Blonde in next cubicle: It's especially sad when turtles get killed. I mean, aren't they like really wise and live for hundreds of years or something?

Toronto
Canadia

Black boss: I just found out I'm white!
White employee: Is there any way for me to properly respond to that?

Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: Cube Dweller

Camera guy to audio guy: It's zero! Zero is zero! You can't have more above zero than zero!

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Tigertail