General Idiocy

A customer is on speakerphone.

Customer: Which one is the spacebar?
Co-worker: How can you not know where the spacebar is?
Customer: I’m not good with computers.
Co-worker: But you’ve used a typewriter before, haven’t you?
Customer: Yeah, so?

460 Hillside Avenue
Needham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: S. Griffin

Manager to engineer: That'll cut our sales in half by at least 85%!

Batavia, Ohio

Attorney: An Interested Party is any board member who receives, or whose spouse or descendants receives, financial gain from the corporation.
Board member: So if my son works here, then I’m not an Interested Party.
Attorney: Your son is your descendant.
Board member: Are you sure?

1524 North Santa Fe Avenue
Vista, California

Employee #1 calling from adjacent building: Hey, you guys are using the wrong kind of paper in the fax machine.
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: You’re using the wrong paper in the fax machine. Our faxes are coming out all smeary over here.
Employee #2: Oh, okay. Sorry.

Kramer Drive
Gibsonia, Pennsylvania

VP of marketing: If you used a duck, you’d somehow have to tie it into a kid who was killed by a drunk driver who loved ducks.

30 E, 33rd Street
New York, NY

Computer guy: I wonder what it is that makes it feel so damn cold in this building sometimes?
Graphics dude: Maybe it’s the temperature.

Dyess Air Force Base
Texas

Overheard by: Michael Philippus

Co-worker #1: I just got a brand new internet!
Co-worker #2: A new internet? Is that possible?
Co-worker #1: Yeah! Looks totally different!

8100 Tyler Boulevard
Mentor, Ohio

Overheard by: Dana

Co-worker #1: What is our Vision Statement?
Co-worker #2: It says here, “Our Vision is to always be true to our Vision.”

101 South Webster Street
Madison, Wisconsin

Graphics guy: What format are these files?
Boss: They’re from the guy next door.
Graphics guy: Okay, but what kind of files are these supposed to be? There’s no extensions so I can’t open them in anything unless I rename them all and just guess the extension until I get it right.
Boss: Can you open them and check?

2245 Royal Windsor Drive
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Bob

Salesperson #1: Violence is okay…just as long as no one is enjoying it.
Salesperson #2: What about spanking?

850 Third Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Effina