Client on phone, returning from lunch: What, we have a meeting now? I’ll be there in ten minutes. Is [the boss] around?
Admin: Yeah, he’s right here.
Client: Good, go kick him in the shin for me.
Admin: Um, you’re on speakerphone.
Client: I hate you! How many times have I told you never to put me on speakerphone!?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Tech on phone in next cube: How can I help you? … Uh huh. Well like it said in the doc, you have to name the files alphabetically for that to work. … Alphabetically means from A to Z. … No, sir, you can’t name one file code_abc and the next one code_aba, a is before c… Yes, abz would work. … Numbers come before letters. … You’re welcome. [hangs up phone] Fuck this shit, I can’t even smoke it. I’m going home!
800 S Canal Street
Chicago, Illinois
Lady suit: Did you see that chicken?
Male suit: What?
Lady suit: Yeah, the chicken with the keyboard…
Male suit: Um…
120 Fairview Park
Washington, DC
Little Turkish woman: Since when is September considered part of summer? I mean, years ago, September was considered fall!
Office grunt: Well, technically, fall just began this past week with the autumnal equinox and…
Little Turkish woman (interrupting): I don't believe in astrology. Damn, it is hot out!
Brookline, Massachusetts
Overheard by: She blinded me with science
Boss: What you are talking about only adds up to 10% of snake shit
compared to the problems we have.
Meeting: …
2000 West NASA Boulevard
Melbourne, Florida
Co-worker #1: Why are there empty containers in the fridge?
Co-worker #2: To keep them cold.
12 Bassett Street
Providence, Rhode Island
Call center worker: What does it mean, “do not ship domination”?
Call center supervisor: What?
Call center worker: “D-o-m-i-n-i-o-n.”
26600 SW Parkway Avenue
Wilsonville, Oregon
Recruiter selling a prospective employee on the company: We don’t consider them “departments” so much as “teams”, because the…uh, flow…rolls…from one to the other…
Eisenhower Parkway
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: …and I thought that ‘rolled downhill’…
Warehouse supervisor: Hey, I have to start having these bi-weekly meetings now…
Sales chick: Oh, that sounds like fun.
Warehouse supervisor: Tell me about it. Anyway, is there anything you can think of that I need to address? … Bi — that means every other week, right?
Sales chick: Um, yeah.
Warehouse supervisor: I just don’t like that word. Bi. It just sounds wrong.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker to intern: I mean, not that you’re a terrorist, but…
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Seriously?
