Newbie: Did you know Matt Goldberg used to be a singer?
Employee: Who?
Newbie: Mark Goldberg?
Employee: You mean Mark Wahlberg?
Newbie: Yeah! That’s it!
5100 Spectrum Way
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Newbie: Did you know Matt Goldberg used to be a singer?
Employee: Who?
Newbie: Mark Goldberg?
Employee: You mean Mark Wahlberg?
Newbie: Yeah! That’s it!
5100 Spectrum Way
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Sad girl, folding t-shirts: And I totally didn't understand why he's like “we need some time apart”. Like, I really thought he was my soulmate. We were the fairytale movie couple, I really loved him… And then he's just like “you call too much. You talk too much. You should stop calling me”.
Uninterested male coworker: Uh, well, you said he paid you for what you called a “one night stand”…
Sad girl: Well, it sounds so bad when you say it like that. Yes, he paid me for that, but I don't know… I felt a connection.
Uninterested male coworker: Yeah, uh… You're a prostitute and he just wanted sex.
Sad girl: Oh, shut up, ass!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Julie
Customer: I need fabric.
CSR: OK. What type of fabric do you need?
Customer: I need fabric.
CSR: Um, could you be more specific?
Customer: I need fabric that looks like cloth.
425 West 15th Street
New York, NY
Home Depot worker: And so he says to me, “Are those metric inches?”
650 North 54th Street
Chandler, Arizona
Store clerk: So you're from Canada. Is it really quiet there?
Customer: Well, I guess that depends on where you live. I live in a large city, Toronto.
Store clerk: They have cities in Canada?
Northern Michigan
30-something man: I tend to use the word “fab” a lot.
San Francisco, California
Loud old woman #1: Did you hear about that huge fight that took place over the weekend where that teenager got killed?
Loud old woman #2: That’s why people should beat their children! Then this wouldn’t happen!
3430 Courthouse Drive
Ellicott City, Maryland
Old hen: My granddaughter wants to ride on a fire truck in the parade, who should I call?
Fire dept. rep: We don't do that anymore, because of the liability.
Old hen: What liability?
Fire dept. rep: Some silly kid will be jumping around all excited and fall off the truck and break their head, and then the parents will sue us for a zillion dollars.
Old hen: Well, not if it was the kid's fault, they wouldn't.
Fire dept. rep: What cartoon planet are you from, exactly?
Oregon
Overheard by: b-mac
Mother: Do they sell headboards here? I think you should get one that’s attached to the wall. They look better.
Young child: I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of commitment.
Home Depot
Perrysburg, Ohio
Overheard by: Treesha
Office grunt #1: You know, it must be kind of easy to be conservative.
Office grunt #2: Yeah, it probably is.
Office grunt #1: Because they always have the fall-back slippery slope type of argument. ‘Well, if we allow this, then this could happen, and this could happen, and what about this? Camels may roam the streets in gangs!’
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Shannon
