Co-worker: This place runs like a well-oiled banana.
3000 Mountain Creek Parkway
Dallas, Texas
Co-worker: This place runs like a well-oiled banana.
3000 Mountain Creek Parkway
Dallas, Texas
Jewish executive: The CEO of [name] company is coming from Israel for negotiations.
Redneck executive (exasperated): I hate dealing with Israelis! They're the hardest people to negotiate with. They're never satisfied with any deal you work out.
Jewish executive: (silence)
Redneck executive: It's like water torture!
Peon: Um, I think that's the Chinese.
San Mateo, California
Assistant: Where are all the great shoe sales? I mean, after September 11th there were some great sales!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Can’t believe she still works here
Worker: Can you review this for me?
Manager: Why are you asking me all the time?
Worker: Because you’re my team leader.
Manager: There are no team leaders anymore.
Worker: What? Yes, there are.
Manager: No, there aren’t.
Worker: Well, I asked [Jesse] yesterday, and he said he couldn’t do it because he wasn’t my team leader. Why would he say that if there aren’t team leaders anymore?
Manager: Because he didn’t want to do your review.
137 Iroquois Avenue
Essex Junction, Vermont
Woman to on cell: Hi, this is Susan Smith*. I was successful using a toothbrush so I don't need your help. Thanks for offering. Bye.
Glenview, Illinois
Overheard by: Jess
Know-it-all peon: I swear, every invention in this world was invented for war. Highways, the Internet — everything! Don’t you read?
Lady peon: Okay, Eric*! What about perms? Hot rollers weren’t made for war!
Know-it-all peon: Perms aren’t inventions.
Lady peon: My ass, they aren’t!
Waterloo, Iowa
Manager: “…I was forced to take a year off work to look after my sick mother. She’s dead now so problem over.”
33 Paradise Road
Richmond, Surrey
UK
Coworker #1: Are these car rental coupons good in Hawaii?
Coworker #2: I dunno, it says it’s good in the United States.
Coworker #1: Is Hawaii part of the United States?
Coworker #2: Hey, is Hawaii part of the United States?
Coworker #3: …What? Are you serious?
Coworker #2: Yeah, you know, like is Canada part of the US?
Coworker #3: Canada is a completely different country.
Coworker #2: I asked you about Hawaii you fool!
120 Providence Road
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Office worker: I need to talk to you about this report you mentioned.
Manager: No, we can’t talk about this now, not till tomorrow.
Office worker: Yes, but it’s due tomorr–
Manager: No, no, no! Now is not the time to talk about it. Tomorrow is.
Office worker: But–
Manager: Tomorrow. Goodbye.
39 Murray Street
Hobart, Tasmania
Australia
Cheerleader: It sucks that Halloween is on a Monday this year.
Football player: Dude. I hate when they do that to me.
19501 Outer Drive
Dearborn, Michigan
