Loud-talking painter, not realizing he's being heard: I don't know, Paul, I wouldn't mind spanking that redhead.
Painter friend: What color would we have to paint her office to get her to do that?
(long pause)
Loud-talking painter: Green?
Loserville, Kentucky
Chick #1: He didn’t even give me flowers today.
Chick #2: I can’t believe that.
Chick #1: I know. I mean, if you fuck a girl and knock her up, you give her flowers on Valentine’s Day, miscarriage or not.
Chick #2: For real.
McCormick Road
Hunt Valley, Maryland
Overheard by: Jenna
Matt: Later we are getting cupcakes…
Jen: Why, is it your birthday?
Matt: Sort of it… it’s my half birthday. So are you in?
Jen: What do you mean half birthday?
Matt: Well my birthday is December 26th.
Jen: Ok -I’ll ask Stacey if she wants in.
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
14-year-old girl to another: I bet you would get drop-kicked in the head if you tried to put eyeliner on a dog.
Lansing, Michigan
Mom: So, my son had a party while I was away, but at least he cleaned up the blood before I got home.
Friend: Wait… what?
Career Center
Augusta, Maine
Overheard by: Unemployed and unemployable
20-something girl: I hate coming here, it's always cold and my nipples get hard.
20-something friend: That never happens to me… Is that like getting a hard-on or something?
Resort and Casino
Ledyard, Connecticut
Overheard by: fxwd
Hick #1: Oh, Frost/Nixon. I wanted to see this.
Hick #2: What's it about?
Hick #1: It's about when Nixon gets assassinated.
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: I just work here
Middle-aged lady to another: You sit down and I'll take you for a ride…
Edmonton
Canadia
Football fan, during Good Friday: Oh, why can't we all be happy in here? It's the birth of god today! Or something…
Football Club
England
Fat old creepy guy interrupting three Asian girls: So how old is this guy?
Asian girl #1 (looking awkwardly at friends): 18.
Asian girl #2: Yeah. (laughs) She likes them young.
Fat old creepy guy: Oooh! (pause) You can train him! Get a collar and a leash and a big stick like the ones my kids use to whack their pigs!
Sacramento, California
