Butch chick: I read The Lion and the Mouse when I was young! It's a story about how the lion got a thorn in his paw and the mouse helped him remove it, and they became friends.
Normal chick: What a stupid lion, why didn't he just eat the mouse?
Butch chick: It's a story of morality for children! Help someone, be friendly!
Normal chick: So?
Butch chick: You don't eat your friends!

Melbourne Central

Overheard by: Incognito

20-something chick: Was it Colorado?
20-something dude: Yeah, that sounds right. There were a lot of unicorns.

Auburn, Massachusetts

Chubby secretary: So, my friend from college was roommates with this guy who went to high school with this girl whose brother was eaten by Jeffrey Dahmer!
Friend: Oh my god! You could have been killed!

Tampa, Florida

Queer (in tears): What you did hurt me, it hurt me to the core!
Fag hag: What are you talking about?
Queer: That was my song, I sing that song–you stole it from me!
Fag hag: It's a song, it's karaoke…fucking get over it!
Queer (still in tears): You don't understand, it's my song!

Brooklyn, New York

Guy: Do you think it’s possible to be allergic to… you know?
Girl: No, I don’t know…
Guy: Sure you do.
Girl: No, I don’t know what ‘you know’ is!
Guy: Yes, you know!
Girl: What? You mean, like, condoms?
Guy: No, like you know — vagina…
Girl: Why on earth would anybody be allergic to vagina?!
Guy: Cause, you know, it’s like fish.

Customer service call center
Montreal, Quebec

Overheard by: MBN

Girl: Did you ever eat SpaghettiO's when you were a kid?
Guy: No, my parents loved me.

Grocery Store
Vancouver, Washington

Young male employee to friend: I mean there's no strippers in cages or anything, but it looks like it could turn into that kind of place, you know?

Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York

Girl #1: I should be a professional killer
Girl #2: What are you talking about?
Girl #1: Well, I was really good in riflery in camp. I hate people. And I love wearing black.

40 West 57th Street
New York, New York

Girl holding can of soup: Well, one can makes soup for more than one person.
Guy staring blankly: Uh-huh.
Girl: So, how many do you want to get?
Guy: I can totally see down your shirt, by the way. Now, what?
Girl: Were you listening to a word I was saying?!
Guy: No, I was staring at your breasts.

Red River H-E-B supermarket
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Natalie

Lunch mate #1: We should be parts of the reproductive system for Halloween.
Lunch mate #2: Oooooh, can I be a clitoris?!”


Overheard by: Cnote