Guy to friend: It was just like Barney… but with Cubans and machetes.

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: sarswolu

Punk rocker to another: I really want a job in Chinatown, but there's one problem–I'm white!


Old lady: I like them when they're big and juicy like that.
Older lady: Yeah, all dark and purpley, so good.

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Woman flipping through old textbook: In my ideal world, all Davids are naked.

Oldferry Road
Bristol, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Amy

Bus driver: Your bus pass isn’t working.
Passenger: Sorry, man, it should. I just got it yesterday… It’s new.
Bus driver: It’s just not working… Just come on anyway. I love you, man.
Passenger: Thanks, bro. I love you, too.

Downtown bus terminal
New York, New York

Girl #1: I feel bad for that kid, Matt*.
Girl #2: Which one? That loud kid?
Girl #1: Well yeah, the loud kid, but he has Asperger's syndrome, so he kind of doesn't get it, you know?
Guy: I once had a roommate that thought he had Asperger's, and I was always like, “man, shut up. You just did too much coke again.”

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Woman to friend: I can do it now without using my finger…I'm getting better!

Austin, Texas

Worker: Sexual relations-wise, it's been a while.
Friend: Oh, really?
Worker: The last time was the Superbowl, cause I remember she blew me at halftime.

Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

30-something redhead to older male lunch companion: I'm kind of disgusted with my current job in law enforcement. I'm thinking of a career change to either a highly-paid call girl or an assassin.
Older male lunch companion: Well, you're awesome at sex, and you *do* know how to kill people…

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Aspiring movie critic #1: I don't think Zac Efron will ever be able to do anything but High School Musical.
Aspiring movie critic #2: I know. He'll be like…the gym teacher in High School Musical 30.

Richmond, Virginia