Manager to assistant: I cream myself twice a day, especially when I go to bed. If you don't do it at my age, you'll get all shriveled up.
Assistant: Yeah.
Delray Beach, Florida
Manager to assistant: I cream myself twice a day, especially when I go to bed. If you don't do it at my age, you'll get all shriveled up.
Assistant: Yeah.
Delray Beach, Florida
Coworker #1, walking down hallway: What's so wrong with beating dead whores?
Coworker #2: I don't really know what to say right now.
Coworker #1: See! In this morning's meeting nobody else said anything about it either. I was just saying that we need to stop talking about the budget because it's like beating dead whores. Like that saying goes. But the conversation just kind of stopped.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Jen
Nurse to another nurse: So that’s how you get all those huge objects in your happy hole!
1600 SW Archer Road
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: SuperClerk
Redneck woman: So you think chip's gay?
Son: I don't know.
Redneck woman: Maybe he just likes to look at pictures of naked men. Who knows?
Gainesville, Florida
Inspirational speaker: The left side of the brain in charge of your creative process, so when you don’t feel inspired, take a deep breath closing your right nostril with your finger so all the air goes only and directly to the left side of your brain…
Audience, while inhaling as told: Wow…
Miami, Florida
Guy: You want me to buy 60 dollars’ worth of butt-paste?
4803 Deer Lake Drive
Jacksonville, Florida
CSR: …Gwendy. G like goat, W, E, N like neurotransmitter…
5409 N. Florida Avenue
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Kristen Brown
Manager to employee: Yeah, just put it right in there… It's okay, I got tested this morning! (15 minutes later) Oh, it's infectious. I have to put cream on it.
Ybor City, Florida
Cube dweller #1: Man, my daughter got the worst ear infection last night and wouldn't stop screaming.
Cube dweller #2: Wow, that's horrible, what did you do?
Cube dweller #1: My wife wanted me to take her to the emergency room but I said, “are you crazy? I just smoked three bowls and am buzzing hard!”
Cube dweller #3: Someone please make him stop.
West Palm Beach, Florida
Semi technologically-challenged nurse practitioner: Everything is going to my draft box.
Aventura, Florida
Overheard by: Lizzo
