Head of IT: Can we get those new computers?
CFO: Sorry, it’s not in the budget this year.
He walks over to the calendar.
CFO: Hey, isn’t this last year’s calendar? When are you going to put up the correct one?
IT Drone: Sorry, a new calendar isn’t in the budget this year.
75 South Church Street
Pittsfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Joe
Broker on phone: Why should you buy my bond? Because you buying it is good for my firm, good for me, and two out of three ain’t bad.
1100 Louisiana Street
Houston, Texas
CSR girl: C-s-z.
Accounting girl: C-s-b?
CSR girl: No, “z”! “Z!” Like, um…”xylophone.”
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
IT guy: So my coworker gave you your fixed laptop back?
Finance guy: Yeah. Well, really, I looked into his office and saw it sitting on a desk, and I ducked in and took it. So, you know, same thing.
2000 Spring Road
Oak Brook, Illinois
Overheard by: George L.
Investment Banker (on phone): What? Are you sure? I really don’t think you are in labor and I have plans…What that means is that I really want to recruit this guy and I am going to continue having drinks with him. Call me in two hours…No, I am not going to meet you at the hospital. These things take forever…I’ll be there when it’s Go time, not until then.
9 West 57th Street
New York, NY
Shabbily dressed Jewish loan officer: Who? That Nazi Mel Gibson? I hate that Nazi! I'll kill him!
Southfield, Michigan
Broker: Does this look like Joe*'s?
Broker's assistant: No, it looks better than Joe*'s.
Broker: Well, I know it's not as big as Joe*'s or anything…
Leawood, Kansas
Financial Officer: See, I've always liked Shakespeare. I thought he was funny. You know, like Macbeth. Macbeth was funny. He was a crazy guy.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: frustrated intern
Bank teller, commenting on name change: Oh, you're getting married?
Blonde woman, cheerfully: Oh no, I'm getting a divorce!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Account exec eyeing treats in kitchen: Those biscuits are so good they make me want to cry. They taste like Paris!
Manhattan, New York
