Suit #1: So your mother thinks the tsunami is what’s causing the bad weather in California?
Suit #2: You never know, she may be right.
Suit #3: Mother is always right…Mother knows best…
30 E. 33rd Street
New York, NY
Suit #1: So your mother thinks the tsunami is what’s causing the bad weather in California?
Suit #2: You never know, she may be right.
Suit #3: Mother is always right…Mother knows best…
30 E. 33rd Street
New York, NY
Female coworker to another: I thought I was having a miscarriage when you called last night. Or it might have been just bad tacos.
McAlen, Texas
Cubicle drone #1: Why don't you just stick your mouth over your brother's ass and swallow his fart?
Cubicle drone #2: Then it wouldn't taste fruity.
Aventura, Florida
Overheard by: lizzo
Coworker #1: I had to have a spinal when my child was born.
Coworker #2: I had an epidural, but I could still feel my coon.
Coworker #1: You call your stuff a coon? Do you offer your “coon” to your husband?
Coworker #2: No, I just say, “you want a shot of leg?”
Coworker #1: Gross.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: bigcutebeachgirl
Father to son about to eat crayons: No, no, no! Crayons aren't for eating!
Four-year-old boy: But I eat them at school!
Everett, Washington
Overheard by: Hopes their food comes up soon
Navy commander to his three-year old who’s locked herself in the connecting bathroom again: Susie*, open this door at once! I command you!
Visiting officer’s quarters, Tachikawa Air Force base
Tokyo
Japan
Coworker #1: Well, I got some good news and some bad news last night.
Coworker #2: Let me guess… your stepdaughter’s moving out, but she’s pregnant.
Coworker #1: Oh my God, you’re so close! My stepdaughter’s moving out and my eighteen-year-old son’s girlfriend is pregnant.
Coworker #2: Wow, what luck.
1649 Pandosy
Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Overheard by: melissa
Coworker #1: He thinks he's slick, trying to be sneaky all the time.
Coworker #2: Girl, forget him! It's time to do you!
Coworker #1: I will! My time will come!
Coworker #2: I hear that!
Coworker #1: First we gotta find out if her baby is really his, then I'm through with him…
The Bronx, New York
Cubicle guy #1: Variety is the spice of life!
Cubicle guy #2: Ha ha! Yeah, right, ask your wife that and see what she says!
Columbus, Ohio
Customer: Yeah, like I need to get this purchase authorized for school supplies and stuff.
CSR: Yes, sir. Can you tell me the primary cardholder’s name?
Customer: Yeah, that would be me. My name is on the card.
CSR: No sir, you are on the account. I need the primary cardholder; is he available?
Customer: No, he is in Florida or Georgia or something. Dude call my Dad, he can tell you all about it.
CSR: I need to ask you some security questions first. Do you know the primary cardholder’s date of birth?
Customer: Uh, dude, this really sucks…I can’t remember his birthday…Dude that’s pretty sad I don’t even know my father’s birthday.
CSR: OK, sir can you give me the last 4 digits of the social security number on the account for the primary cardholder.
Customer: Dude, are you kidding? I will tell you anything about me that you want to know I just want to get this stuff going, y’know?
CSR: Sir, can you hold?
Customer: Sure.
2 minutes pass.
CSR: OK sir, I have blocked the card. Please inform your father that he will need to give us a call to take the block off the card.
Customer. Dude, this fucking sucks. I have any information you need about me, why can’t you call my dad?
CSR: I am not calling your dad sir, please inform him that he will need to give us a call to have the block taken off the card.
Customer: Dude you are really starting to piss me off, dude.
CSR: Sir you can’t verify any of the security questions, and I can’t approve this transaction.
Customer: …Dude call my dad! He will give you anything you want to know.
CSR: I am not calling your dad, sir.
Customer: Dude, you have so just lost 4 accounts!
3615 Brotherton Road
Cincinnati, Ohio
