So There’s Gay, Married –and Now Possibly This Third Category

Female peon #1, in reference to cute co-worker: So, what happened with that guy you gave your number to?
Female peon #2: Oh, girl, I didn’t tell you?!
Female peon #1: No, what happened?
Female peon #2: Listen to this… he never called me, right? And I really wanted to know what was up with that. So, I walked over to him the other day and said, “Hi, how’s it going?” Well, we got to talking, and he said he was sorry he never called, but that he isn’t looking for a relationship right now… because he’s trying to concentrate on his relationship with Jesus Christ!
[Female peon #1 and eavesdropping co-workers break into laughter.]Female peon #2: Can you believe that? I was rejected for Jesus!

Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: Kitty

Posted on March 14, 2015
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, Florida, Gripes, Questions, Relationships, Religion, Sexuality

Like You Did with Our Last Project

Boss: So, is your dog dead yet?
Worker: No! Why would you even say that!
Boss: I mean, don't get me wrong… I didn't think you would kill it… I just thought you would neglect it till it died.

Knoxville, Tennessee

Posted on March 14, 2015
Animals, Bosses, Death, Employees, Tennessee

But It Was a Booby Prize in Every Way

Faculty member: Her chest looked like it was being displayed as first prize at a raffle.

Notre Dame, Indiana

Overheard by: iz

Posted on March 13, 2015
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Employees, Indiana, Physical Appearance

Yours Is Much Thicker, Though.

Dude: I just got back from waxing my board.
Receptionist: Oh, yeah? I noticed your board is long, like my husband's. Must be because you're both tall.

University Avenue
Palo Alto, California

Overheard by: that's what she said

Posted on March 13, 2015
Body Parts, California, Compare and contrast, Employees, Family, Physical Appearance, Receptionists

Where the Distinction Is Irrelevant

General manager to sales guy: You are such a candy-assed, chicken-shit, pansy son of a gun!
Warehouse manager to sales guy: Dude, I’ve dated girls that are more of a man than you are!
Receptionist to warehouse manager: Yeah, but you’re from Jersey.

Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on March 11, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Geography & History, Insults, Maryland, Receptionists, Sales, Sexuality

Is Erica from Seattle?

Guy #1: What area code is 206?
Guy #2: Did you say “Erica pulled out her tits”?
Guy #1: No, I asked what area code 206 is.
Guy #2: Oh.

Hollywood, California

Posted on March 10, 2015
Body Parts, California, Employees, Questions, Words

10AM Swing by Trading Floor

Trader: When I go to my doctor’s appointment tomorrow, my doctor is going to wonder why I have two assholes.

Trader: Lance Armstrong has more balls than I do.

Trader: Why don’t I just go to prison? Then I wouldn’t have to pay to get fucked in the ass.

50 Broad Street
New York, NY

Posted on March 10, 2015
Employees, Gripes, New York

Whatever For?

Trainer: My wife collects bolts of fabric and weaponry… I collect books, DVDs, and Black Plague memorabilia…
Attendee: Ummm, I collect coins…

Redmond, Washington

Overheard by: Bored in Training

Posted on March 10, 2015
Employees, Gossip, Washington

It’s Less an Assumption than Universal Law

Underling: I’m really tired of having to assume that everyone else is an idiot and that I should automatically know which questions to ask.

30 E 33rd Street
New York, NY

Posted on March 9, 2015
Employees, Gripes, Insults, New York, Questions

Was It a Short Wedding?

Secretary: That’s what my sister did. They went to Niagara Falls and got married by a midget.

Uniontown, Ohio

Posted on March 9, 2015
Default, Employees, Family, Ohio, Relationships, Travel, Weirdness

Employees

Is Erica from Seattle?