Cube dweller, during lengthy speakerphone conversation: Just between you and me…
Washington, DC
Overheard by: and me…
Cube dweller, during lengthy speakerphone conversation: Just between you and me…
Washington, DC
Overheard by: and me…
Employee #1: So my car got hit in the parking lot yesterday.
Clueless employee: Yeah, I've gotten banged a few times in the parking lot.
Employee #2, choking on bagel: Cough, cough!
Clueless employee: Wow, are you okay?
Employee #2: Yeah, (coughs) I need to leave the room… fast.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: That's what she said…
Cubicle drone: You know who Tony Blair is, right?
Secretary: Oh yeah, he's a bitch.
Portland, Oregon
Customer: Do you sell cards?
Hallmark employee: Yes. Yes, we do.
The Hallmark Store
Manhattan, Kansas
Overheard by: Fellow Hallmark Employee
Employee: You look like a hobo office worker! Can I take a picture?
Los Angeles, California
Starbucks barista: You know why they are called “naked juices”?
20-something: Excuse me?
Starbucks barista: They sprinkle just a little bit of E in them… Next thing you know you're feeling up on yourself, then next thing you know you're naked.
20-something: Uhhh…
Starbucks barista: I'm high as balls right now, man.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: College Student
Waiter to customer: I’m sorry, but we’re out of swiss. Would you like mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: Swiss.
Waiter: No, we don’t have swiss. Do you want mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: You don’t have swiss?
Waiter: Nope, but we do have mozzarella and cheddar.
Customer: That sucks!
Waiter: Yeah, I’m sorry. Would you like either mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: What other cheeses do you have?
Waiter: Mozzarella and cheddar.
Customer: Don’t you have any other cheeses?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Writer to editorial assistant: Ham is more powerful than bacon, unless you eat a lot of bacon.
Hinsdale, Illinois
Guy behind counter: I have a fetish for pre-creased items.
Café Boulange
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
New supervisor, straight from the military: It’s my job to protect you from the people above me.
26-year veteran of the agency: I’ve got Jesus and a man. I don’t need any more protection than that.
Federal Office Building
Washington DC
Overheard by: Wasting my best years
