Employees

Male suit: Meetings are like suction cups. They stick to things and leave a lasting mark that's tough to clean off. They can be useful in some instances, though they almost always suck, and when they don't suck people try and make them suck in a different location.
Underling: You forgot to add, though, that when they aren't working right, you can always start licking to see it that helps. A little moisture always makes things more interesting.

Central Point, Oregon

Overheard by: Turbo

Cosmetics dept. drone: This spider snuck up on me, so all of a sudden I stopped servicing my customer.

Rockford, Illinois

Female employee: Somebody pushed that ten-inch pepperoni way in there!

Pizza Place
Wichita, Kansas

Guy serving lunch: Do you want meatloaf?
Kid: No, I'm a vegetarian.
Guy serving lunch: Not today, you're not! (slaps a big piece of meatloaf on kid's plate)

23rd Street
New York City, New York

Employee to another: She always gets like that… when she cheats on him…

56 Haddon Avenue
Haddonfield, New Jersey

Photo assistant: Okay, put something else in my mouth and I'll tell you what it is.

Culver City, California

Overheard by: LaLa Land

IT worker to Vietnamese coworker: Is that the day Buddha came down from the mountain?

Richmond, Virginia

Girl: Why are you in customer service if you don't want to service the customer?

Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennesee

Overheard by: AlsoWondering

Cube dweller: I learned something last night. Never trust a restaurant that has a sumo wrestler in a pink tutu and high heels on the menu.

Los Angeles, California

Cubicle lady, about soap: I like the smell of lilac bush.

Westbury, New York