If We Get Caught Standing under Them Together, You Have to Teabag Me.

Office dweller: Hey, why do you have nuts hanging above your door?

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 28, 2016
Body Parts, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Pennsylvania, Questions

These Guys Apologize to All Their Colleagues Every Day

Retirement aged worker #1: Hi, little buddy.
Retirement aged worker #2: I'm not your little buddy!
Retirement aged worker #1: I know you're not! You're an old goat!
Retirement aged worker #2, thrusting pelvis towards #1: If I'm a goat, then suck it and get some milk!

Naval Base
Point Mugu, California

Overheard by: bubbles

Posted on November 15, 2016
Age and ageing, Body Parts, California and Northwest, Comebacks, Employees, Offers and requests, Possible Sexual Harassment

Maybe You Should Try Singing with Your Mouth

Employee on phone: Church choir practice kicked my ass last night!

1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: DB

Posted on October 18, 2016
Arts, Employees, Gossip, Gripes, Nebraska, On the phone

Undetectable, They Cling to the Envelope

35-year-old man at post office: I'd like to buy some stamps, please.
Postal employee: Here you go. (hands him generic stamps)
35-year-old man: Do you have any stamps that are a bit… cooler?
Postal employee: What did you have in mind?
35-year-old man: I don't know… Ninjas?

Post Office
California

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on September 23, 2016
California, Compare and contrast, Dumb Customers, Employees, Offers and requests, Questions

But You Can Say “Satan Planted the Dinosaur Bones”?

Front office lady #1: “Abraham begot Isaac.” What does that mean?
Front office lady #2: It means Abraham is Isaac’s father -he had Isaac. It’s like “Adam knew Eve.” That means Adam banged her.
Front office lady #1: I don’t think you can say that.

Medical Office
Lincoln, Nebraska

Posted on August 23, 2016
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Names, Nebraska, Questions, Religion, Religious folk, Words

Screenplay by David Mamet

Employee #1: Sorry, I talk to myself a lot. Let me know if it gets annoying.
Employee #2: That’s okay! We all have annoying habits. I just can’t stop fucking swearing!

Australia

Posted on August 21, 2016
Australia, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Offers and requests

The Perfect Job for People With Impulse Control Problems

Blonde cube dweller: I can't get this damn profile to load. Now my screen froze! Fuck this, I'll be a stripper!

Chelmsford, Massachusetts

Posted on August 8, 2016
Employees, Gripes, Internet, Massachusetts, Sexuality

Look Who's Squawking Was a Disappointing Sequel

Lady: You know, birds squawk when they aren't getting any.
Man: Yeah, I know what you mean.
(ten minutes later)
Man: (squawking around office)

Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: let there be DAVE

Posted on August 7, 2016
Animals, California, Employees, Weirdness

…We Are Quite Conservatory.

Very country legal assistant to hearing office rep: Well… That Irene Davis and I have been commuting.
Hearing office rep: What?
Very country legal assistant: Commuting… Ya know, talking.

Law Firm
Lower Alabama

Overheard by: How embarassing for the rest of us

Posted on July 13, 2016
Alabama, Employees, Lawyers, Legal, Questions, Weirdness, Words

Stay Tuned for a “Jews Of Asia” Rant

Extremely Long Island woman to receptionist: So, Dr Wong will be coming in at two to use the computer. She is a very nice oriental lady.

Dental Supply Office
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: I have a rug like that

Posted on May 7, 2016
Compliments, Employees, New York, Race, Technology

Employees