Whatever, Mister “I Believe in Santa”

Stylist: Do you like your haircut, buddy?
Little boy: [Silence.]Stylist: Do you know who would like your haircut? SpongeBob.
Little boy: … I’m not stupid.

Barbershop
Noblesville, Indiana

Posted on January 7, 2022
Comebacks, Compliments, Employees, Indiana, Kids, Questions

4PM Stress Management

Warehouse employee, furiously banging tools around: Happy place, go to your happy place.

150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut

overheard by: I love this place!

Posted on January 4, 2022
Advice, Connecticut, Employees, New England

I've Started Hiring Little Kids to Crouch Down and Push the Pedals for Me

Fat, older employee: How long is that marathon you're running in?
Marathon runner employee: 26.2 miles.
Fat, older employee: 26.2 miles?! Are you kidding me? I can't even drive that long in my car without getting tired!

La Jolla, California

Overheard by: Punkgrrl25

Posted on January 2, 2022
California, Employees, Questions, Sports

I Was Kind Of Affronted When My Date Made Me Eat My Vegetables

Dispatcher #1: Which escort service did we use?
Dispatcher #2: Was it “Mom's escort service”?

Monroe, Michigan

Overheard by: Monica

Posted on December 30, 2021
Employees, Family, Michigan, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

A Man's Gotta Eat

Boastful rare coin dealer: Oh, yeah, I sold a piece yesterday–$7,700.
Impressionable cashier girl: Wow… wow!
Boastful rare coin dealer: Day before that, sold a coin for four grand.
Impressionable cashier girl: That's unbelievable. Oh… debit or credit?
Boastful rare coin dealer: Food stamps.

Levittown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Flynn

Posted on December 24, 2021
Employees, Meals and Snacks, Money, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sales

…Which Was That the Lamb Tartare Was Improperly Garnished

Awkward coworker: I kept throwing up over and over, but that wasn't my main problem…

Santa Monica, California

Posted on December 22, 2021
California, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Weirdness

He Also Freaked When She Ordered a Case Of White-Out

Black lady cleaning out her desk: I got to get rid of all these crackers in here.
White guy passing through: I heard that!

Wilmington, Delaware

Overheard by: Saltine McCrackerface

Posted on December 21, 2021
Delaware, Employees, Insults, Meals and Snacks, Race

I’d Like to Dip My Socks in Your Coffee

Worker #1: Did you hear me? I just said I hit my knee on the window.
Worker #2: But there are no windows in your cubicle.
Worker #1: I know, I meant chair.
Worker #2: Hey [worker #3], did you hear [worker #1]? She said window but meant chair.
Worker #1: I also meant arm not knee.
Worker #2: Wait, so when you said, “I hit my knee on the window,” you really meant,”I hit my arm on the chair?”
Worker #1: Yeah.
Worker #2: You’re beautiful.

Rt 31, Illinois