Education

University call center rep: Okay ma'am, what program were you interested in?
Prospective student: Well, I'm not exactly sure. I was thinking of something in prostitution. (pause) Oh, that's not right.

University Drive
Davie, Florida

Project manager: With some of these clients, the question is, how educated are them?

Cleveland, Ohio

Patricia: Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I am either “Positive Patty” or “Pessimistic Patricia.”
IT chick: Yeah? Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I put whiskey in my coffee.

University of Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Jennay

Professor walking into new chemistry building: Whoa, is this an optical illusion or is this reality?!

University of Arizona, Tucson

Overheard by: Rasputin

School administrator on phone: Hello. Has my cat peed yet? Great!

Elite Prep School
California

Librarian: I just don’t understand why he still works here. I mean, wouldn’t you feel bad about yourself if nobody gives a crap how your New Year was?

Garden City, New York

Overheard by: Soapnana

Math teacher: So that was interpreting the graph. Gosh guys, this is really boring.

Wallingford, Connecticut

Overheard by: margo

Mother shouting on cell: How the fuck do I know what he eats? I’m his mother, not his nanny.

New York City Library, New York

Overheard by: Took care of my own children

Receptionist on phone: Did you finish it? What did it say? What do elephants have to do with anything?

Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas

Overheard by: Faith

Hipster: Making out is my Viagra.

School of Management Office
University of Massachusetts