Horse veterinarian to assistant: Okay, I'm going to need him sedated. Sue, you scrub him, and…Heather, get on the penis.
Cleveland, Ohio
Horse veterinarian to assistant: Okay, I'm going to need him sedated. Sue, you scrub him, and…Heather, get on the penis.
Cleveland, Ohio
Clinician, after drinking from sports bottle: Man, nothing is worse than bad tequila.
ASU Student Health
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Auntie Maim
Urologist: Can we do a time-out, please?
Nurse: Mr. Henderson* is here for a cystoscopy. You've seen this patient before.
Urologist: I've never heard of him. (uncovers the field) Hmmmm. I don't remember the patient's name, but I have seen this penis before.
Hospital, Virginia
Overheard by: CJ Wiretap
Receptionist: I have Ms Jones* on the phone, she still has pain and wants to know if you will refill her Endocet prescription.
Doctor: No. She can have Vicodin.
Receptionist: She's allergic to Vicodin.
Doctor: Then she has to go to the hospital.
Receptionist (after speaking on telephone again): She asks if these are her only options: take medication she's allergic to or go to the hospital?
Doctor: Tell her I'm not here.
Kinnelon, New Jersey
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Resident doctor: Hey! How was the concert? I’m sorry I missed it.
Pre-med: What concert?
Resident doctor: Your dad’s concert.
Pre-med: Oh, it was more like a hoe-down.
Resident doctor: Was there promenading?
Pre-med, nodding head in agreement: There was some promenading.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: snickerpants
Puzzled physical therapist: So, what position do you play on the football team?
Stoner high school athlete: I play wide receiver, defensive back, running back, you know, I’m a utensil player.
1300 East
Sandy, Utah
Overheard by: The Fork
Vet on phone: He’s a little groggy now, but he should be one-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow morning.
Route 5
Norwich, Vermont
Overheard by: has two-eyed cats
Vet examining dog with anal abscess: All this dog needs is an hour alone with its butt and its tongue.
Washington, DC
Doctor to patient with teardrop tattoo under eye: That’s a pretty cool tattoo. Where’d you get it?
Patient, uneasily: Uh… At this place I used to stay.
Doctor: That wouldn’t be jail, would it?
Patient: Maybe…
Hospital
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: this guy
