Coworker #1: You know I had trouble finding a Die Zauberflöte ringtone on my phone.
Coworker #2: You know I had the same problem too.
Livonia, Michigan
Coworker #1: You know I had trouble finding a Die Zauberflöte ringtone on my phone.
Coworker #2: You know I had the same problem too.
Livonia, Michigan
Rite Aid employee #1: My friend died last year, he was really sick, it was sad.
Rite Aid employee #2: Yeah man, my friend from high school recently passed away too.
Rite Aid employee #3 (in a Dominican accent): Yeah, that happened to my friend too. Actually, he did not die. Someone killed him.
Rite Aid
New York, New York
Overheard by: Marie Ziskin
Female Excel nerd: Time to go make more price lists! Excel is my bitch.
Redheaded dominatrix: And you are mine.
42nd Street
New York City, New York
Boss, orienting new employee: And this is June*, our local bitch.
Los Angeles, California
Office bimbette: So, my friend got me a Sudoku book, but I can’t start doing it yet because she has to send the Sudoku pencil. It has an eraser on the end — only Sudoku makes them that way.
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Boss: I want to order 2000 sheets of 100-gram organic paper.
Colleague: Does he mean “recycled”?
Kent
England
Intern #1: Keep doing that! You look like a seal!
Intern #2: Shut the fuck up. You look like a crackhead from hell.
Omaha, Nebraska
Arrogant idiot: You see, the older you get, the more geometrically expensive your health insurance gets.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: my brain is dying
Cube dweller #1: For my wedding the colors were black and white. So I took my bridesmaids to the dress shop and told them to pick out whatever dress they wanted. They all ended up picking the same one.
Cube dweller #2: Well, that's nice.
Cube dweller #1: Of course they picked the most expensive dress, but I didn't have to pay for that part.
Cube dweller #2: And I bet it was a nice bridesmaid dress that they could wear again and again.
Cube dweller #3: Yeah, like to a funeral.
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: eavesdropping cube dweller
Company owner trying to allay fears: We are not a sinking ship! This company is worth $700,000. It's hard to sink a $700,000 ship!
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: BrainFuzz
