Overtly loud coworker: Oh, it smells good back here… Are you burning something?
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Light one Up!
Overtly loud coworker: Oh, it smells good back here… Are you burning something?
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Light one Up!
Coworker to new employee: Love the Avril Lavigne poster, Susan*. I had no idea you were such a fan!
New employee: Never missed a concert in the Midwest! Avril really speaks to me. Her songs are so profound.
Arrogant man in cube across: Oh, come on Susan! As a 40-something woman with bad style and three kids, what could a 18-year-old possibly teach you that is so profound? If you started wearing heavy black eyeliner and fishnets, then maybe I would believe you.
Edina, Minnesota
Office know-it-all: When an elephant's trunk is up, it's a good omen. When the trunk is down, it's a bad omen.
Cubicle mate: Isn't an elephant's trunk always down unless it's, like, screaming at you?
Chicago, Illinois
Trainer to another: Well, after she threw up on me, it made it hard for me to kiss her afterwards.
Kentucky
Officer #1: Yeah, man, I'm not going to pull someone over for talking on their cell phone, because I talk on my cell phone while driving.
Officer #2: For sure, I ain't gonna pull someone over for speeding, cause I speed all over this place.
Officer #3: Right, why would I pull someone over for drunk driving, when I'm always drunk.
Ventura, California
Overheard by: Chatty McSailor Mouth
Team member: Hey, Kim, do you spell your name with an 'i' or a 'y'?
Kim: I spell it k-i, but I love k-y.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jodie
Female coworker: Have you ever had a crush on one of your cousins?
Male coworker, sarcastically: Yeah, my 12-year-old cousin is really hot.
Female coworker: No, I mean, it's just that they're so nice and cute and … I just really love my cousins!
Male coworker: (blank stare)
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Jessica
Coworker #1: Are you posting time in the system?
Coworker #2: No.
Coworker #1: Well, I can't enter my time, it won't let me put any numbers in.
(coworker #2 walks over, looks at situation, presses num lock, walks away)
North Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Renee
Female office worker to pregnant coworker: His mother said we should wait until we're older to have kids, but she's old. She's 40. I told her that we're 23 and 24. We're of child-bearing age. We're supposed to be having children.
Fleet Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Coworker to another: They are just too hard. I guess I'm just anal about wrapping my wieners.
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: Brent
