PETA Members Will Say Anything

Coworker #1: Veal is unborn calf.
Coworker #2: Unborn? I thought it was just babies.
Coworker #1, somberly: No. Cut 'em right out of the womb.
Coworker #2: I'm never eating veal again.
Coworker #1: That's why it's so tender.

Gainesville, Florida

Posted on March 8, 2010
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Florida, Meals and Snacks

A Little Tip from Us to You: If They Think You're Jewish Anyway, Take Those Holidays Off.

Indian woman: How was your holiday?
White man: Uh, holiday?
Indian woman: Yeah, Rosher Hana?
White man: Rosh Hashanah?
Indian woman: Yeah.
White man: I'm not Jewish.
Indian woman: Oh, you're not?
White man: No. I told you that when you asked me how Passover was.
Indian woman: (silence)
White man: That's okay. That was awhile ago.

Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on March 5, 2010
Coworkers, Georgia, Holidays, Questions, Religion

…Anybody Got a Cigarette?

Office hottie, after office creepster has poked her: Ouch! What was that for?
Office creepster: I just always wondered what it'd be like to poke you.
Office hottie: Oh. It didn't do much for me. How was it for you?
Office creepster: Fucking magic!

Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: Kiwibloke

Posted on February 25, 2010
Bimbettes, Coworkers, Creepsters, New Zealand, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

…And the Combined Length Of Their Penises?

Male coworker: It's small but mighty.
Female coworker #1: Hey, it's not the size that matters!
Male coworker: You're right, it's the bandwidth!
(laughter)
Female coworker #2: We are still talking about the analytics department, right?

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Mandy

Posted on February 25, 2010
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Nebraska, Questions, Technology

At Least I Learned How to Make Lightbulb Nachos

Coworker: With the amount of hours I spent playing WoW, I probably could have graduated college. Oh, well.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Posted on February 24, 2010
Coworkers, Education, Time Management, Utah

Where the Women Have Their Make-up Permanently Lasered on

Middle-aged coworker, about applying makeup to upper eyelids: I can't do it because my eyes are all squinty.
Young Asian coworker, jokingly: Yeah, me either.
Middle-aged coworker, serious: But that's because of where you're from.
Male coworker, walking in: Oxnard?

Thousand Oaks, California

Posted on February 24, 2010
Body Parts, California, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Physical Appearance

I've Heard at Night They Roam the Neighborhood, in Search Of Soup and Liniment.

Loan officer #1: Wouldn't a 55-and-over development have lower market value because your applicant pool is so small?
Loan officer #2: No way, there's a ton of old people.

Eastern Shore, Maryland

Posted on February 24, 2010
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Maryland, Questions

Raise Your Hand If You'd Hate Working There

Manager: So to get to know each other a little better I'm going to ask you all to answer this question: if you were an animal, what would it be? I'd be a cat, I think.
Cashier #1: A chinchilla. They're cute.
Cashier #2: A guinea pig, because they're awesome.
Cashier #3: A bird, so I could shit on anybody who tried to shit on me.
(long awkward pause)
Manager: Okay. That's a good answer too.

Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania