Worker bee: If you’re not willing to come in on your days off, you can’t complain about being short-staffed.
UK
Worker bee: If you’re not willing to come in on your days off, you can’t complain about being short-staffed.
UK
Supervisor: I saw a unicorn just the other day!
Coworker #1: No, you did not. They're extinct.
Supervisor: What?
Coworker #2: What?
Coworker #1: They been extinct since Jesus's time!
Supervisor: You believe in mermaids?
Coworker #1: Well, duh, mermaids were around during Jesus too!
Coworker #2: Neither of those things exist.
Coworker #1: Ohmigod! Are you serious? But my mom told me when I was a kid!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Malikat
Gay coworker, walking past office: I love making the girls giggle.
Chicago, Illinois
Clueless coworker, trying to sell candidate to potential employer: Yes, he's bilingual. He speaks five languages!
St. Louis, Missouri
Co-worker #1: Remember [Joann] at [Segal]?
Co-worker #2: The one that looks like a man?
Co-worker #1: Yep. Well, she’s found that sperm donor she’s been looking for.
721 Emerson Road
St. Louis, Missouri
Coworker on way to office birthday party: Let's go eat some of this birth cake.
Pal: Technically, it's “after-birth” cake.
Erie Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Admin Ass
Office grunt: Well, I asked for the guys to fix the electricity, but they built a wall in my bathroom!
Paris
France
Male employee #1: What did you bring for lunch today?
Male employee #2: A salami sandwich.
Male employee #1: That's it? You can't just have salami as your main meat! You can garnish with salami, but you have to have other meat.
Des Moines, Iowa
Agent #1: Why is that dog wearing a “W” on its head?
Agent #2: That’s not a “W”; it’s obviously an “M.” It’s just upside down.
Bystander: Um…those are reindeer antlers.
7145 SE 21st Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Fellow cube dweller (after violently blowing nose and looking into tissue): I don’t understand how when you’re sick, you just never run out of boogers.
Rosedale Towers
Roseville, Minnesota
Overheard by: booger-free
