Coworker on phone: That would be the best present you've ever given me…an erection!
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker on phone: That would be the best present you've ever given me…an erection!
Chicago, Illinois
Co-worker #1: We’re going to a vegetarian place for lunch.
Co-worker #2: Do you think they’ll have fish there?
3415 S. Sepulveda Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Co-worker #1: Thank you so much [Dan] for getting me all of the ledes that I needed for the articles so last minute.
Co-worker #2: Oh, it’s no problem. It was easy, I can show you how to do it.
Co-worker #1: No, I’d rather you do it, thanks.
Co-worker #2: I can easily show you.
Co-worker #1: If there was a fire and you were burning, I’d assume you’d have a cell phone, so I could still call you and you’d still do it for me.
2105 C Street
Vancouver, Washington
Female coworker to male coworker rolling sleeves near window: What are you, He-Man?
Male coworker: I'm fucking tanning, you asshole!
Plainville, Connecticut
Coworker #1: So, I’ve been reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and I had no idea about the Toni Braxton-Taylor Hicks thing.
Coworker #2: … The what?
Coworker #1: You know, the false labor…
Coworker #2: You mean Braxton Hicks?
Coworker #1: Yes, Toni Braxton-Taylor Hicks. I had no idea it was called that.
Coworker #2: It’s not called that. Please stop calling it that.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: It’s REALLY not called that
Older coworker on phone: Don't worry, you are on my list of things to do today.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Female coworker: How old do you think she is? Like 15 or 16?
Male coworker: Because I have no desire to make an appearance on the Megan's Law database, I respectfully decline to answer your question.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: JD
Programmer #1: Can you kill the parent without killing the child nodes?
Programmer #2: I don’t think so.
Sales guy: It’s always good to get rid of the witnesses.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sales guy’s neighbor
Professor: We need this paper to be huge! I want people to fear us when we go to meetings… We need to be like male elephants!
Grad student #1: You want me to grow tusks?
Grad student #2: You want me to grow big ears?
Professor: No! We need to pee all over everything!
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
