Straight server: The new chef looks like Philip Michael Thomas.
Queer server: Oooh! I’d fuck him with his chef hat on!
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Straight server: The new chef looks like Philip Michael Thomas.
Queer server: Oooh! I’d fuck him with his chef hat on!
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Employee #1: I’m going to this funny movie tomorrow.
Employee #2: Which one?
Employee #1: I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s the one where Sasha Baron Cohen comes as a guy from Kazakhstan named “Borat.”
Employee #2: Oh, yeah, Borat!
Employee #1: Right, and I still can’t remember the title!
4250 Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: end of days is here
Lady peon to another: Yeah, she lives in Yaphank. She shares her llamas.
789 Park Avenue
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Cara
Worker: I need to go home and brush my teeth. My mouth tastes like Mexican people.
401 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Big nose: What’s your favorite swear or curse word?
Big ass: Fuuuck.
Big nose: What the fuck?
Big ass: Who the fuck do you think you are?
Big nose: It’s so fucking hot.
Big ass: I’m gonna fuck you up.
Big nose: You are so fucked.
Big ass: I just got fucked.
Big nose: Wanna fuck?
Big ass: Fuck me. [Pause, then] Shit, my boss is coming.
Big nose: We’ll resume this again tomorrow, Fuckface.
Big ass: Haha, you win.
Big nose: I always do.
130 West 42nd Street
New York, New York
Girl: Just so you know, I have a gigantic cyst on my vagina.
9050 Washington Boulevard
Culver City, California
Female coworker on phone: I don't care if you're jacking off in your room, or in the bathroom or whatever… You aren't gonna be saying that to a girl.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Man: Was this in DC?
Woman: No! It was in Maryland, where I live! Right behind my condo building! I was so upset!
Man: Huh.
Woman: If I had a gun, I tell you what: I would have shot him as he was running away. I was so upset. The little bitch would have been dead. [She exits the elevator] Have a blessed day!
5600 Fishers Lane
Rockville, Maryland
Female coworker, after finding old file down in file cabinets: Look, Rod and I just made a miracle in the basement!
Insurance Office
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: TVannie
