That’s Right Up There With “Neato” and Giving a Thumbs-Up

Coworker, reading an e-mail: Oh no… We can’t hire someone that says “TGIF”.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: I agree

Posted on February 16, 2015
California, Coworkers, Default, Office Politics, Words

I Mean, I’ve Got Kids and They’re Horrible

Worker bee #1: I don’t understand what pedophiles are thinking.
Worker bee #2: Man, you’re not supposed to understand it!

Austin, Texas

Posted on February 16, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Texas

3PM Smoke Break

Co-worker #1: Will someone please tell me what the fuck is wrong with [Josh]? When he gets up in the morning does he have some kind of funhouse mirror? Does he fucking see Tom Cruise when he looks in the mirror in the morning? Because when I look at him I just see an asshole.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: He is bullshiting everyone and saying he slept with the new CSR.
Co-worker #2: Does it really matter? She don’t speak English!

2801 Red Lion Road
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on February 15, 2015
Coworkers, Gripes, Language barrier, Lies, Pennsylvania, Sexuality

Asking God to Smite Your Enemies Is So Old Testament, Though

Programmer: I’m just saying that if, by some miracle Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps and Jerry Falwell had all died in a meteor attack…
Boss: I would convert. Right there. I’d become an instant christian.
Programmer: I would keep the sabbath holy.
Boss: I would keep the sabbath *fucking* holy. Hell, if god can manage to paralyze Paris Hilton from the waist down…
Programmer: I would start to tithe.
Boss: I would start to *fucking* tithe.

Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona

Overheard by: Chris Cardinal