Consultant on speaker phone: How about now? Is that better?
Meeting attendees: Yeah, much better, what did you do?
Consultant on speaker phone: I got out of bed and took you off speaker phone.
Minneapolis, Texas
Consultant on speaker phone: How about now? Is that better?
Meeting attendees: Yeah, much better, what did you do?
Consultant on speaker phone: I got out of bed and took you off speaker phone.
Minneapolis, Texas
Consultant: Happy birthday, ladybug! Are you okay?
Admin: I'm fine, I just feel awful.
Consultant: Did you go out drinking last night?
Admin: Yeah, I had Crown and Cokes all night, and shots at every bar, but that's not why I feel bad.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Red Head
Paralegal #1: The partner just asked me to run to Starbucks because our client wanted a cappuccino.
Paralegal #2: Oh my god…they seriously made you get it for them? I would have refused.
Paralegal #1: I didn't want to go but the way I figure it, my time is billed at $120 an hour. That cappuccino just cost the client $50.
46th & 6th
New York City, New York
Enrollment counselor on phone with student: The first letter is I, like “eyeball.”
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Literate Listener
Salesman: That man was crazy!
Architect: Was he gay?
Salesman: No, he’s too old to be gay!
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Not too old
Senior consultant: I’m not sure that the wow factors you listed here are really wow factors.
Consultant: Meh, I’m easily pleased.
209-215 Blackfriars Road
London
England
Overheard by: Underwhelmed
Consultant after hanging up phone: Ah, the art of bullshit.
NYU Medical Center
New York
Contractor: Ma’am, just so you know for the next time we’re called in, caulking is not spelled C-O-C-K-I-N-G. It’s C-A-U-L-K-I-N-G.
Red-faced manager: Oh!
Retirement home
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Giggling
Researcher: Is this an accurate archaeological description: ‘The site now looks like a four-tier cake’?
Dublin
Ireland
Overheard by: Ragnvaeig
Phone support girl: You see where it says ‘Title’ at the top? Just fill that in.
Client on other line: What do you mean ‘title’?
Phone support girl: You know… Like president, accounts receivable or payable… Whatever your title in your office is.
Client on other line: Can’t I just put biotch?
Phone support girl: … I guess if you wanted to…
Chicago, Illinois
