Attorney: I’m not going to have a homosexual affair just to get some cases!
220 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: brokensiren
Attorney: I’m not going to have a homosexual affair just to get some cases!
220 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: brokensiren
Conference call guru: There are a few master brands out there to look to.
Co-worker #1: I’d love to be a masterbrander.
Co-worker #2: Then we could say, “Hey, what’s she doing behind the desk?”
Co-worker #3: “Looks like she’s masterbranding.”
2010 Warsaw Road
Roswell, Georgia
Customer: Well, maybe I could find something at a lower price that needs fixed up. I do a lot of remodeling work.
Real-estate agent: Sir, if you’re a carpenter you won’t be able to afford anything in this area.
Customer: I’m a contractor and I have more money than I know what to do with. If I say I’m going to climb into your ass and renovate, that’s what I’m going to do.
109 Lafayette Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Dirtpatch
Facilitator: Would you like me to advance to the next slide?
Presenter: No, thank you. I’ll catch up in a moment. I just thought myself into a corner.
200 Seaport Boulevard
Boston, Massachusetts
Consultant: Wow, this is really small.
Co-worker #1: Whenever I pull it out of the thingy it gets tiny.
Co-worker #2: Does it get bigger when you put it back in?
4 Country View Road
Malvern, Pennsylvania
Consultant: I know the solution to this problem…only it won’t work.
IBM Golden Towers
Bangalore, India
Consultant #1: I found out where he lives… He has an apartment.
Consultant #2: Maybe I should drop off his underwears.
Princeton, New Jersey
Consultant: I just pulled it out. I'm coming.
Louisiana State University
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Consultant on speaker phone: How about now? Is that better?
Meeting attendees: Yeah, much better, what did you do?
Consultant on speaker phone: I got out of bed and took you off speaker phone.
Minneapolis, Texas
Consultant: Happy birthday, ladybug! Are you okay?
Admin: I'm fine, I just feel awful.
Consultant: Did you go out drinking last night?
Admin: Yeah, I had Crown and Cokes all night, and shots at every bar, but that's not why I feel bad.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Red Head
