For a While, At Least

Consultant: Wow, this is really small.
Co-worker #1: Whenever I pull it out of the thingy it gets tiny.
Co-worker #2: Does it get bigger when you put it back in?

4 Country View Road
Malvern, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 9, 2014
Consultants, Coworkers, Pennsylvania, Questions, Words

Maybe They Should Outsource to the US

Consultant: I know the solution to this problem…only it won’t work.

IBM Golden Towers
Bangalore, India

Posted on July 7, 2014
Asia, Consultants, General Idiocy

Your Editors All Have Alibis

Consultant #1: I found out where he lives… He has an apartment.
Consultant #2: Maybe I should drop off his underwears.

Princeton, New Jersey

Posted on November 18, 2010
Clothes, Consultants, New Jersey, Sexuality

What Is It About Dry, Factual Phone Sex?

Consultant: I just pulled it out. I'm coming.

Louisiana State University
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on September 29, 2010
Consultants, Education, Louisiana, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

It's Actually a Coffin, but Whatever

Consultant on speaker phone: How about now? Is that better?
Meeting attendees: Yeah, much better, what did you do?
Consultant on speaker phone: I got out of bed and took you off speaker phone.

Minneapolis, Texas

Posted on April 12, 2010
Compare and contrast, Consultants, On the phone, Questions, Technology, Texas

My House Is on Fire, My Children Are Gone!

Consultant: Happy birthday, ladybug! Are you okay?
Admin: I'm fine, I just feel awful.
Consultant: Did you go out drinking last night?
Admin: Yeah, I had Crown and Cokes all night, and shots at every bar, but that's not why I feel bad.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Red Head

Posted on December 31, 2008
Admins, Consultants, Drinking, Feelings, Questions, Texas

Plus the $45 for the Cappucino Itself.

Paralegal #1: The partner just asked me to run to Starbucks because our client wanted a cappuccino.
Paralegal #2: Oh my god…they seriously made you get it for them? I would have refused.
Paralegal #1: I didn't want to go but the way I figure it, my time is billed at $120 an hour. That cappuccino just cost the client $50.

46th & 6th
New York City, New York