Consultants

Consultant: I was a straight-A student until fourth grade.

Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Adam

Sales rep on phone: I don’t want to go see that doctor. He misdiagnosed and killed my grandfather… But he is my neighbor… Okay, I’ll see him.

1600 Utica Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: eric

Resident: Patient was seen today at his home. He’s still complaining that the beams from Oregon are bothering him, but he said they aren’t affecting him too badly right now. In fact, he said that they don’t affect men too much in general – it’s really women who should be worried about the beams, especially, he said, when they’re aimed at women’s private boxes.
Social worker: Did you just say private boxes?

Psychiatric clinic
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Lawyer: Then why did you have sex with your cousin while she was sleeping?
Client: I honestly thought she wanted it. Really, I would never do anything to hurt her. I think of her like a sister.
Lawyer: Perhaps we shouldn’t put you on the witness stand.

2605 E. Cliff Road
Burnsville, Minnesota

Accountant: I’m sorry, were you talking to me? It’s loud inside my head.

1670 Broadway
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: John

Consultant: So what is this meeting about, anyway?
Boss: Why is everyone so concerned about this meeting?
Consultant: Well, for starters it’s 3 hours long–
Boss: Don’t worry, we can’t fire all of you…

595 Madison Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Trouble

I picked up a call that was on hold and the LA talent agent that was on the other end was muttering “with your dentures and your eyeliner, you dirty old bitch”.

41 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Neal

Counselor #1: Why is it that we didn’t get a snow day today? For Christ’s sake there’s only five kids here!
Counselor #2: Because this place is a conspiracy, like the one in Hollywood.

2375 E. 23rd Street
Brooklyn, New York

Trend Consultant: We wanted our department memo to be With Funding, We Can Do Anything, but we couldn’t afford that.

20 River Terrace
New York, NY

Department Manager: How do we file a claim?
Insurance Rep: Just download a claim form and fax it to us with your bill from the doctor.
Department Manager: Do we have to fax the original bill or can we just fax a copy?
Insurance Rep: Um…yes, it’s a fax.

3900 West Avera Drive
Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Overheard by: AllGladHere