E-consultant, explaining website program to potential customer: It’s clear as night!
Smithtown Bypass
Smithtown, New York
E-consultant, explaining website program to potential customer: It’s clear as night!
Smithtown Bypass
Smithtown, New York
Attorney: What are we supposed to say when withdrawing? “I’m sorry, Your Honor, but it seems my client has fled the country”?
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: J.C. Tabler
Consultant: I was a straight-A student until fourth grade.
Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adam
Sales rep on phone: I don’t want to go see that doctor. He misdiagnosed and killed my grandfather… But he is my neighbor… Okay, I’ll see him.
1600 Utica Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: eric
Resident: Patient was seen today at his home. He’s still complaining that the beams from Oregon are bothering him, but he said they aren’t affecting him too badly right now. In fact, he said that they don’t affect men too much in general – it’s really women who should be worried about the beams, especially, he said, when they’re aimed at women’s private boxes.
Social worker: Did you just say private boxes?
Psychiatric clinic
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Lawyer: Then why did you have sex with your cousin while she was sleeping?
Client: I honestly thought she wanted it. Really, I would never do anything to hurt her. I think of her like a sister.
Lawyer: Perhaps we shouldn’t put you on the witness stand.
2605 E. Cliff Road
Burnsville, Minnesota
Accountant: I’m sorry, were you talking to me? It’s loud inside my head.
1670 Broadway
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: John
Consultant: So what is this meeting about, anyway?
Boss: Why is everyone so concerned about this meeting?
Consultant: Well, for starters it’s 3 hours long–
Boss: Don’t worry, we can’t fire all of you…
595 Madison Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Trouble
I picked up a call that was on hold and the LA talent agent that was on the other end was muttering “with your dentures and your eyeliner, you dirty old bitch”.
41 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Neal
Counselor #1: Why is it that we didn’t get a snow day today? For Christ’s sake there’s only five kids here!
Counselor #2: Because this place is a conspiracy, like the one in Hollywood.
2375 E. 23rd Street
Brooklyn, New York