Company owner trying to allay fears: We are not a sinking ship! This company is worth $700,000. It's hard to sink a $700,000 ship!
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: BrainFuzz
Company owner trying to allay fears: We are not a sinking ship! This company is worth $700,000. It's hard to sink a $700,000 ship!
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: BrainFuzz
Female employee, about boring task: There's a big difference between sucking for 20 minutes and sucking for 8 hours.
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: As in a difference per hour?
Cubicle mate on phone: No, I know that, I'm just wondering if it's suitably shithole for a stag do.
Dublin
Ireland
Employee, about coworker: Now, she is what we call an “amazon woman.” She's been known to eat puppies, kittens, and babies. You might have to jog a bit to keep up with her. Following the amazon woman to lunch is like chasing a wildebeest across the savannah.
Dallas, Texas
White attorney,at deposition: Are there any activities you used to do before the accident that you can no longer do?
Trinidadian woman, 55: I can’t get my freak on anymore.
White attorney, smiling: Remember, I have to report this to a bunch of other white people. How often did you used to freak before the accident?
Trinidadian woman: Oh, I went to dance clubs all the time. Plus I used to go hiking all the time.
White attorney: And by “hiking,” you mean walking on nature trails, right? I mean, that’s not some hip-hop slang, right?
Trinidadian woman: Yeah, just walking up mountains and stuff.
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Sales rep to customer on phone: Of course the pupils are going to be shaped differently than that of a human…
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Boss on phone: Do you think when Jesus comes back he wants to see himself on the cross? It's like going up to Jackie O with a rifle on a chain and saying, “I'm remembering JFK!”
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Ren
Male coworker #1: My wife bought me fuchsia underwear last night.
Male coworker #2: Were they men's underwear?
Male coworker #1: Yep, but very fuchsia.
Male coworker #3: Are you sure they weren't magenta?
Male coworker #1: What the hell is the difference?
Male coworker #3: Magenta is more manly, it has more blue it in.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: just call it purple
Sales guy: That makes about as much sense as a shy stripper.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Marketing girl: I also want to know why my salad tastes like bacon.
CSR: Maybe bacon bits are in it?
Marketing girl: Nope, I made it myself… My croutons taste like bacon.
CSR: Is that a come-on?
Waltham, Massachusetts
