1PM Lunch

Manager: New haircolor, huh? Did you fall into a bucket of paint?
Employee: New belt, huh? Did you fall into a buffet?

5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Posted on September 20, 2014
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Insults, Mississippi, Physical Appearance, Words

10AM Call Evan to See If He’s Checked In

Hotel Manager: Can we help you, ma’am?
Guest: My husband just got on the elevator without me, I can’t believe that little shit/
Hotel Manager: Well, if we track him down we can send him your way.
Guest: If I can’t keep track of him after 30 years you won’t either.

9 East Wilson Street
Madison, Wisconsin

Posted on September 17, 2014
Bosses, Comebacks, Customers, Gripes, Insults, Relationships, Time Management, Wisconsin

How “Grow-a-Date” Was Born

Young female manager: Can I get you anything else today, sir?
Man: Yeah, a wife of childbearing age.
Young female manager: Well, I can’t help you there, but how about some water?

208 West 72nd Street
New York, New York

Posted on September 14, 2014
Blue Collar, Comebacks, Customers, Default, New York, Offers and requests, Questions

And Remember: Rational + Lies = Rationalize

Admin on phone: No, I can't write your budget justification for you, you have to do that yourself. (pause) Because I cannot justify what you are doing, that's why!

Fordham University

Posted on September 14, 2014
Admins, Comebacks, Education, Money, New York, On the phone

Representative Democracy Is Never Pretty

State rep #1: What's up?
State rep #2: Living the dream!
State rep #2: It's actually more nightmarish.

Columbus, Ohio

Posted on September 13, 2014
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Ohio, Questions

…But Does That Mean You Have to Crush My Dreams? Does It??

Conductor #1, over PA: This is Stamford; welcome to the President's Club. (pause) Maybe you'll invite me someday.
Conductor #2, over PA: I doubt that's gonna happen.
Conductor #1: True.

Stamford, Connecticut

Overheard by: wasn't invited either

Posted on September 12, 2014
Comebacks, Connecticut, Coworkers, Travel, Weirdness

3PM Coffee Break

Co-worker #1: How do you put up with that constant gossiping right next to your office?
Co-worker #2: I have a door.

1370 Ontario Street
Cleveland, Ohio

Posted on September 6, 2014
Comebacks, Coworkers, Gossip, Gripes, Ohio

Unless You Drink the Coffee I Prepared for You

Lower-middle management: I know you're having lunch, but I'm trying to get this done by the end of the day…
Borderline wage-slave: Sure! And you don't care who gets trampled in your little march to “progress”!
Lower-middle management: Um, I'll come back later then…
Borderline wage-slave (cheerfully): Okay! See you later!

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Carver Stone

Posted on September 5, 2014
Bosses and Underlings, Canadia, Comebacks, Office Politics

4PM Send Out Tuition Check

Housing: You need to sign this form that talks about the potential risks of lead paint.
Student: Lead paint? Could that be dangerous?
Housing: No.
Student: Really?
Housing: Well, I wouldn’t lick the walls.

400 West 119th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: djlindee

Posted on September 3, 2014
Blue Collar, Comebacks, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, New York, Offers and requests, Students

But Could You Stop Pressing the Dell Symbol to Turn on the Computer

Employee: Hey! I'm not stupid!
Supervisor: If you say so.

Syosset, New York

Posted on August 29, 2014
Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Insults, New York

Comebacks

But Could You Stop Pressing the Dell Symbol to Turn on the Computer