Woman: Gary*, do you have any peach paper?
Gary, flabbergasted: Peach paper?! I’m a man!
Madison Street
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: jimBO
Irate boss on phone: What?! You're holding my order because of a past due invoice for $100? We spend thousands with our vendors! This is ridiculous! $100?! I wipe my ass with $100 bills!
San Carlos, California
Secretary: You look kind of like Bill Gates.
Specialist: I don’t look dorky enough.
Secretary: How dorky do you not think you look?
25 Sigourney Street
Hartford, Connecticut
Server support: The server is still taking errors?
Network support: Okay?
Server support: Did you run the new cable we asked for?
Network Support: Yes.
Server support: Are you sure you ran it to the correct server?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: Did you test the cable?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: How did you test it?
Network support: I farted on one end and I could smell it on the other.
1600 Dublin Road
Columbus, Ohio
Lawyer #1: Listen to this — ‘The patient’s bladder was emptied and transferred back to recovery room in stable condition with no complications.’
Lawyer #2: Where’s the rest of her, still in the O.R.?
220 East 42nd Street
New York, New York
Cube dweller #1, dressed as redneck hunter: Whew, that salsa’s hot! I can’t eat any more of it!
Cube dweller #2, dressed as kitty cat: She’ll eat wild beaver, but not hot salsa… [Coworkers stare.]
New Mexico
Overheard by: ummmm…..she’ll eat what?
Executive: If I had to use that, my arm would fall off!
Scientist: This coming from the guy with the largest disposable pipette!
Rockland, Maryland
Children’s librarian: Do you mind?
Chick with breast exposed, nursing her baby: I’m sorry, is he sucking too loud?
York County Library
Rock Hill, South Carolina
Recent business school grad: You know, working for this company is not for the weak of heart. There is not a lot of recognition handed out to people.
Senior executive: Recognition? You want recognition? You are a dumbass. How’s that?
Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario
Canadia
Judge: So what does your wife do for a living?
Potential juror: Nothing.
Judge: She does nothing?
Potential juror: Nope.
Judge: Do you have kids?
Potential juror: Yes.
Judge: Yeah, she does “nothing”.
265 East 161st Street
Bronx, New York
Overheard by: John
