Lest the Keepers of the Books Wreak a Terrible Vengeance

Homeless guy #1: Damn! I just got kicked out of the library! Damn!
Homeless guy #2: What did you do, man?
Homeless guy #1: I don’t know. I don’t know.
Homeless guy #2: Aren’t you drunk?
Homeless guy #1: Well, yeah. Also, I might have been looking at dirty pictures on the computer.
Homeless guy #2: Aw, that’s not so bad.
Homeless guy #1: And they said that I was being disrespectful to the librarians.
Homeless guy #2, freaking out: No way, man! You can never, never disrespect the librarians! Always respect librarians! What were you thinking? Are you an idiot?

Outside Boulder Public Library
Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: Librarian on break

Posted on March 30, 2015
Advice, Colorado, Crazies, Technology

…Because I Was Raised Right.

Legal assistant to coworker: If I'm going to kill my liver, I'm sure as hell not going to let ibuprofen do it –I'm going to have fun and let alcohol do me in.

Durango, Colorado

Posted on March 12, 2015
Colorado, Drinking, Lawyers, Substance Use & Abuse, Wishes

Just Add “Or Whatever” So His Feelings Don’t Get Hurt

(receptionist passes a Boss Day card to one of the company partners to sign)
Partner, after signing it: So… What’s this for? His birthday?
Receptionist: No, his birthday was last month… remember?
Partner: Oh… I already signed it “Happy birthday”.

Main Street
Aspen, Colorado

Posted on March 9, 2015
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Executives, Questions, Receptionists, Words

I'll Forget This Conversation If You Will

Male software engineer to another: Yeah, I don't know what to say… I mean, I'm not a gynecologist or anything.

Software Company
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Monkey

Posted on February 27, 2015
Colorado, Engineers, Health & Hygiene, Science and engineering, Sexuality, Weirdness

1PM Lunch

CSR: Oh my god. I just spilled soup on my glasses! I was eating soup and it splashed on my face.

1005 17th Street
Denver, Colorado

Posted on February 7, 2015
Body Parts, Colorado, Customer Service, General Idiocy, Gripes, Meals and Snacks

I Use It to Drive Nelson Mandela Around

Hungarian coworker with heavy accent on phone with auto repair shop: I drive a 2007 black Foreigner. (pause) Yes, Foreigner, Foreigner -like the Toyota.

Broomfield, Colorado

Posted on February 7, 2015
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Words

When Your Job Is Over Hard

Waitress: Can I ask you something? This customer wants two eggs. But he wants them fried. Do we even do that here?
Manager: Um, yes. Actually most eggs are fried. There’s over easy, sunny side up, over hard…
Waitress: Oh, really? OK. Whatever.

30th & Walnut Streets
Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: Just having oatmeal