And We Broke a Perfectly Good Stapler!

Tech guy #1: Can I ask you for a favor?
Tech guy #2: No! The last time you asked, my ass hurt!

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

Posted on May 29, 2015
Body Parts, Canadia, Gripes, Offers and requests, Tech People, Words

Then She Must Have Been Very Flexible.

Waiter #1: My cherry popped in my mouth.
Waiter #2: That's what she said.

British Columbia
Canadia

Posted on May 26, 2015
Body Parts, Canadia, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality

The One That Looks Like a Penis

Phone room worker to respondent: Hi, I’m calling from XYZ Research*, and we’re doing a survey on Canadian politics. May I speak with a male who’s 18 or older? … Well, are you a male? A male. A male is a man… Do you have a penis? A penis? It’s the male genitalia… Great. First, what province do you live in?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: phone room peon

Posted on May 24, 2015
Canadia, On the phone, Questions

I'm Scared of the Conscience-Suppressors

Peon: I'm not on nearly enough medications to be a lawyer.

Kanata
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: not a lawyer

Posted on May 24, 2015
Canadia, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Substance Use & Abuse, Weirdness

Did I Sound Like a Big, Angry Guy or a Soft-Spoken Lad with a British Accent?

Cube-dweller (on phone): Thank you for calling , Andy speaking.
Customer: Can I speak to Charles, please?
Cube-dweller: Speaking.
Customer: Oh, I thought you said you were Andy?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: So…you're Andy and Charles?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: Okay… Well, I'm returning your call.

Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia

Overheard by: Andy. I mean, Charles.

Posted on May 24, 2015
Canadia, Customers, Employees, Names, On the phone, Questions

There's a Difference?

Coworker #1: I need to learn how to spell “plain”
Coworker #2: You mean like the kind that crashes into towers, or like yogurt?

Vancouver Island
Canadia

Posted on May 22, 2015
Canadia, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Words

2PM Douche Presentation

Client: May I ask you a question?
Patent Agent: Uh, sure.
Client: I’d like your opinion on my [douche] invention as an engineer and as a woman.

508 Riverbend Drive
Kitchener, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on May 19, 2015
Canadia, Dumb Customers, Engineers, Questions, Technology

All Eight Seasons Of Will & Grace, in a Nutshell

Female VP gay male VP: I would totally have sex with you.

Vancouver
Canadia

Posted on May 17, 2015
Bosses, Canadia, Gays and lesbians, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sexuality

You're Fired.

Legal assistant #1: My new butter dish is made from crystal.
Legal assistant #2: Crystal, like? from under the sea?

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on May 15, 2015
Canadia, General Idiocy, Lawyers, Questions

On the Plus Side, My Personal Shopper Reports Much Shorter Lines

High society chick #1: Holy shit! The market's falling off a cliff again. They keep sending me this stuff on my BlackBerry.
High society chick #2: Yeah, it's like really scary.
High society chick #1: I went to my horseback riding class yesterday, and now there's like half the people than before.

Starbucks
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: mike sereny

Posted on May 14, 2015
Canadia, Money, Rich people, Sports