Worker #1: So how is the database server test going?
Junior Manager: Great! That new machine is going like gang bangers!
Worker #2: He, he…”gang bangers”.
Junior Manager: Damn! You know what I meant.
Worker #1: Well…I guess they do work pretty hard.
13571 Commerce Parkway
Richmond, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Richard Shoehorn
Computer Technician: Wow, it’s amazing what kind of difference a couple of inches can make…Have you seen [Ben]’s?
The other technicians burst out laughing.
Computer Technican: I meant his new 19″ monitor. Grow up.
1035 64th Avenue SE
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Boss: Your brother is Wiccan?
Drone: Yes.
Boss: So he does magic?
Drone: He likes to think so.
Boss: And he’s not Christian?
Drone: …No.
Boss: So he can do whatever he wants? Like kill someone?
Drone: …No, he still has to abide by the laws of the land.
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Office girl: Why don’t we recycle here?
Office guy: Because we’re fucking trying to eliminate winter!
740 Dundas Street E
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
CCA #1: The client says his squirrel machine’s broken. What the hell is a squirrel machine?
CCA #2: One of those things with the wheel, where the squirrels run around?
CCA #1: I don’t think we provide those.
CCA #2: What’s the problem?
CCA #1: He says it’s broken.
CCA #2: Is he feeding it enough?
2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia
Office drone #1: Hey, Thomas, how do you pronounce that customer's name?
Office drone #2: Which one?
Office drone #1: You know, the one I can't say right.
Office drone #2: “Roger”?
Office drone #1: …yeah.
Halifax
Canadia
Manager: Did you see the game last night?
Coordinator: I was drunk. [Takes bite of Oreo.]Manager: Huh?
Coordinator: Yeah, I’m drunk every day. S’matter of fact, I’m drunk right now!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Coworker to tech support: All I did was stick it in and now I can't get it out. I hate fucking computers!
Brampton
Ontario
Canada
Overheard by: Tim
Cube dweller on phone: Hahaha… yeah, I can just imagine them literally chasing you around, and smearing you with that stuff!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: I don't want to get smeared
Male cubicle dweller #1: Tell you what, if you grow your hair shoulder-length, I'll braid it for you.
Male cubicle dweller #2: Deal!
Male cubicle dweller #1: Do you want me to sign a post-it or something… like a contract?
Male cubicle dweller #2: No, I trust you.
Laurier
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: They had no idea I was here
