Chick on cell: So, I’m clearing room in the back for more stock, and those fuckers have a case of beer back there…
Mall
Burnaby, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Christmas shopper wanted to know what store she works at…
Chick on cell: So, I’m clearing room in the back for more stock, and those fuckers have a case of beer back there…
Mall
Burnaby, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Christmas shopper wanted to know what store she works at…
Student to another, after grabbing cookie from unattended table: What?! They left them out! That’s like leaving food out and not expecting the rats to come!
University
Prince George, British Columbia
Canadia
Teacher: That’s an interesting tattoo, Jacob*!
Student #1: Thanks.
Teacher: Are you like the tattooed man from The Great Gatsby?
Student #2, after long pause: Yo, we don’t read!
High school
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Blonde salesgirl on phone with IT: My computer is not working.
IT guy: Did you plug everything in right?
Blonde salesgirl: Yes! Of course! The light is on, but nothing’s happening. [IT guy goes to her office, bends over, presses power button and walks out.] But the light was on!
IT guy: That’s your screen. The computer is the big box on the floor.
Office, Meilleur Street
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: ID-10-T
Peon #1, talking about proposed ad: Show the guys driving home too quickly and then getting decapitated because they’re driving their car too fast. That’s entertainment.
Peon #2: That’s not good. I’m thinking that’s not selling sandwiches.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: one smelly idiot
Guy: I always say, “To each his own.”
Girl: But what about Hitler? Would you say that about Hitler?
Guy: Well, if Hitler’s happy doing what he’s doing…
2375 Main Mall, University of British Columbia
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Office peon on phone: Hey, you know what? I have even more Earth-shattering news for you. Apparently Paula Abdul broke her nose this weekend trying to step over her Chihuahua!
171 Nepean Street
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: I to the Sac
Front desk girl: What was that thing in the Lost Objects box?
Manager: A penis. Huge one.
Front desk girl: The maid found it in a room?
Manager: In the fridge.
Hotel
Montréal
Canadia
Overheard by: Grossed Out Customer
Man: Is that meeting here on the tenth floor?
Woman: No, it’s on the eleventh floor.
Man: Okay. Is that one floor up?
2775 Laurel Street
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Purchaser on phone: No, no, the price is fine. I’m just a little concerned about the thickness of the shaft… How exactly is it lubricated? … Well, yeah, with that kind of thickness you are talking major lubrication…
Manufacturing company offices
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Salty
