Canadia

CCA #1: The client says his squirrel machine’s broken. What the hell is a squirrel machine?
CCA #2: One of those things with the wheel, where the squirrels run around?
CCA #1: I don’t think we provide those.
CCA #2: What’s the problem?
CCA #1: He says it’s broken.
CCA #2: Is he feeding it enough?

2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia

Office drone #1: Hey, Thomas, how do you pronounce that customer's name?
Office drone #2: Which one?
Office drone #1: You know, the one I can't say right.
Office drone #2: “Roger”?
Office drone #1: …yeah.

Halifax
Canadia

Manager: Did you see the game last night?
Coordinator: I was drunk. [Takes bite of Oreo.]Manager: Huh?
Coordinator: Yeah, I’m drunk every day. S’matter of fact, I’m drunk right now!

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Coworker to tech support: All I did was stick it in and now I can't get it out. I hate fucking computers!

Brampton
Ontario
Canada

Overheard by: Tim

Cube dweller on phone: Hahaha… yeah, I can just imagine them literally chasing you around, and smearing you with that stuff!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: I don't want to get smeared

Male cubicle dweller #1: Tell you what, if you grow your hair shoulder-length, I'll braid it for you.
Male cubicle dweller #2: Deal!
Male cubicle dweller #1: Do you want me to sign a post-it or something… like a contract?
Male cubicle dweller #2: No, I trust you.

Laurier
Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: They had no idea I was here

Old woman at check-in desk: I used to have a lot more sex when I was younger… There weren’t any TVs back then.

Main Street
Wolfville, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Boss: I need you to work your superpowers for me.
Stunned office monkey: In the office?!

Argentia Road
Mississauga
Canadia

Overheard by: My superpower is top secret

Patient: Where’s the bathroom?
Receptionist: On your way out, you can just go in that corner.

Dentist’s Office
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Avoiding the corner

Co-worker #1: …no, the cervix is attached to the uterus, but it’s not the uterus, the uterus is different–
Co-worker #2: You guys have the best conversations first thing in the morning.
Co-worker #3: You just missed the bit about the penis.
Co-worker #2: No, I didn’t.

557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia