Executive assistant: Ooohh! Are you speaking Spanish or Mexican?
Hull, Quebec
Executive assistant: Ooohh! Are you speaking Spanish or Mexican?
Hull, Quebec
Co-Worker #1: That new guy is kind of creepy, like he’s going to come in and shoot up the place.
Co-Worker #2: Yeah, I know, he’s just plain scary.
Co-Worker #1: …and not because he’s brown.
17th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Dispatch God
Exec steals Nutri-Grain Bar from CEO.
CEO: Give that back!
Exec: No.
CEO, cornering exec and pushing him against the wall: Give that to me; that’s my Nutri-Grain!
Exec: You aren’t getting it back.
CEO: That’s stealing, man!
Exec: Buy some more! You’ve got the money!
CEO, releasing exec: You’re a real class act, man.
Exec unwraps and eats Nutri-Grain Bar.
5200 Dixie Road
Toronto, Ontario
Man: Do you have the movie Upside Down?
Cashier: Let me check. Um, no.
Man: The one about the two guys on the wine tour.
Cashier: You mean Sideways?
Man: Yeah, that one.
Cashier: It’s under ‘S’ on the wall.
Man, to his friend: It’s under “S” with Psycho.
Video store
Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: emily
Secretary: Put it in! Put it in! Faster, c’mon! I can’t take it, put it in! [Giggles]Worker: Ready? Here we go. [Excessive grunting]Secretary: Oh yeah, that feels great! Oh, yes.
Boss walks by. Looks in office.
Boss: What the hell is going on here?
Secretary: He just put the air conditioner in!
2000 Peel Street
Montreal, Quebec
Overheard by: Monika
Customer: Is fifty percent off of $100, like, $50?
Employee: No. Not at all. It usually works out to $35.95.
Customer: Really?
2223 Victoria Avenue East
Regina, Saskatchewan
CSR on phone with client: Yes sir, just click on the bl-b!
CSR: I’m terribly sorry, sir, my manager just hit me in the face with a beachball.
40 King Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Worker: There is something wrong with my computer. It is really
slow… I mean really slow. It is like having a conversation with Keanu Reeves.
26 Arrowsmith Road
Hamilton, Ontario
Employee: Is that why you broke up? No lobster, no nookie… I really didn’t mean to say that so loud.
2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Worker #1: I am thinking about going to medical school sometime.
Worker #2: I’m pretty sure you couldn’t handle medicine…
Worker #1: Just for that I’m going to be a medicine!
Worker #2: What?
1166 Gorham Street
Newmarket, Ontario
Canadia
