And What I Just Did!

(cell phone rings, CEO at urinal answers)
CEO: Hello? Yeah, hi. I'll be….
(another toilet flushes very loudly)
CEO: Guess where I am?

New Westminster, BC
Canadia

Overheard by: Knows the etiquette

Posted on October 12, 2022
Bosses, Canadia, On the phone, Questions, Restroom

12PM All-Hands Meeting

CEO: It’s like the dog and the tail. The tail is the reward and happiness. The dog is how you get there, the hard work.

460 Phillip Street
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on September 29, 2022
Animals, Canadia, Dumb Bosses, Executives, General Idiocy, Words

Who?

Girl #1: And then it said “list any nicknames,” and that's where I stopped. I mean, I only have the one. You know, the one that begins with “h.”
Girl #2: (mumbles)
Girl #1: Well, yeah, a silent “w.”

Elevator
Toronto
Canadia

Posted on September 18, 2022
Canadia, Friends, Names, Words

Is It “Defamation” If It's True? Discuss.

Clued-out senior manager on phone with lawyer: I just want a translation of the document. It's written all in French. I'm from Ontario, we don't speak the language here. (pause) Well, I just want the gist of the document. I think he's suing us for defamation of character. (pause) The guy's a jerk.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Cue

Posted on September 17, 2022
Admins, Canadia, Insults, Language barrier, Offers and requests, On the phone

With My Giant Ears Flapping Like Flags

Peon #1: Jimmmy, you got a haircut. Very aerodynamic.
Peon #2: I sure did. All the better for walking quickly down the hallway!

Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: JWa

Posted on September 16, 2022
Canadia, Coworkers, Physical Appearance, Weirdness

Wallace Is Organized to a Fault

Meeting chairperson: Alright, that’s about all for this Monday’s meeting. Now, is anyone going to be away on vacation at all this week?
Suit #1: I’ll be taking next Monday off. We’re heading up to the cottage for the weekend.
Suit #2: Umm, I will be sick on Friday so I won’t be in.

Meadowvale Business Park
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on September 10, 2022
Canadia, Coworkers, Default, Executives, Health & Hygiene, Lies, Questions, Suits

The Part Of Canadia's Healthcare They Don't Want Us to See

Agitated man on phone: Put him in the truck, put him in the truck! Just put him in the truck and drive somewhere!

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on August 29, 2022
Canadia, Offers and requests, On the phone

And the Sequins and the Glitter and the Feathers

Deli girl: Have you ever seen a beautiful penis? I appreciate what they do, but I don't like to look at them.
Seafood woman: I've seen a beautiful one, but I'm biased, cuz I helped design it.
Deli girl: Um?
Seafood woman: You know, with the piercings, the Prince Albert and the rings. It's pretty.

Tillsonburg
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on August 28, 2022
Body Parts, Canadia, Friends, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

So I've Renamed Them All “Barbie” or “Ken”

Female coworker: I like to think that my coworkers don't have genitals.

Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: TCon

Posted on August 21, 2022
Body Parts, Canadia, Coworkers, Weirdness

More of a City-State Than a Country

Office girl #1: But I thought he was, like, Mexican or Brazilian or something.
Office girl #2: No, he’s Filipino.
Office girl #1: Oh, so, like… Um…
Office girl #2: It’s like half-Mexican, half-Chinese.
Office girl #1: But he’s gay, right?
Office girl #2: Definitely — all gay.
Office girl #1: He’s from Gay Land!

Ad agency
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Half-Offended-Half-Laughing

Posted on August 18, 2022
Bimbettes, Canadia, Gossip