Customer: I’m looking for a special kind of bead.
Bead store clerk: Okay, can you describe it?
Customer: Well, it’s flat and has four holes in it. I know there’s a name for them, but I just can’t remember it. You can sew them into clothing…
Bead store clerk: Do you mean a button?
Customer: Yes! Do you have buttons?
Bead store clerk: Um, no.
Newport Village
Port Moody, British Columbia
Canadia
Chinese immigrant driver: Everyone is talking about gay marriage. What is ‘gay’?
Lady driver: It’s, uh, when two men or two women like each other in a, uh, sexual way.
Chinese immigrant driver: Oh! We don’t have that in China.
Calgary International Airport Parkade
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Girl Driver #2
Consultant on phone: When you fill out this skills assessment form you may find you have skills you don’t have.
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Frumious Bandersnatch
Coworker: Any religion involving rams’ blood is fine by me.
Yaletown
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: DaveM
Travel agent #1: I would go back there in a heartbeat. China was so awesome.
Travel agent #2: I heard that China was insane.
Travel agent #3: Any ugly girl wrestler has to be a little insane. I mean, Chyna was the craziest woman wrestler ever.
Travel agent #1: Ummm… yeah.
Jasper Avenue
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Girl #1: The lasagna I had for lunch was made funny. It had air in it.
Girl #2: How’d they get air in the lasagna?
Girl #1: I think it was after the layer of sauce.
Bay Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Economics professor: Kick me in the rear. I like it.
University of Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: my attention span is price inelastic
Bimbette #1: Like, what’s a millennium?
Bimbette #2: I think it’s, like, when the year changes or something.
Video store,
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: A Thousand Years of Blondes
Guy: So, I figure that either they tried to give dad a needle somewhere he didn’t want it, or something really bad happened.
Broadway
Winnipeg, Canada
Overheard by: Shalamar
Account manager on phone: How can she be a virgin? She’s a doctor! Would you want your doctor to be a virgin? I think by law, you should have to have sex before you are able to practice medicine.
171 Nepean
Ottawa, Ontario
Overheard by: Smithout
