Creative director: It’s so cold in here, my rock-hard nipples are chafing on my shirt. Can I claim workman’s comp for that?
Radio station
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: it really is cold in here
Creative director: It’s so cold in here, my rock-hard nipples are chafing on my shirt. Can I claim workman’s comp for that?
Radio station
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: it really is cold in here
Client: Why do I have financial charges? It was a plan for "same as cash" for eighteen months.
CSR: Well, sir, we sent you eighteen months of statements telling you that if you don’t pay by the due date, you’ll have financial charges to pay and exactly how much they would be.
Client: You expected me to read my mail?
Citibank
Toronto, Canada
Overheard by: Citi Slicker
Girl #1: It’s like that kid that was kidnapped for all those years, and then they found him and he was back with his family… but then he died a few years later in a boatorcycle accident.
Girl #2: A boatorcycle accident?
Girl #1: I meant motorcycle.
Girl #2: Yeah, I was gonna say… if he was boatorcycling it would have been his own fault. I mean, he shouldn’t have been boatorcycling.
Girl #1: I know!
4310 Sherwoodtowne Boulevard
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Employee: My friend ate a penis once… but not in a sexual way. It was a Romanian specialty dish or something like that.
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: prefekt
CSR on speakerphone: Hey, when am I going to get my email fixed? I have things that I need to send out to clients.
IT guy: Oh, yeah, we sent you an email requesting some more information. We need you to send that email back before we can fix your issue…Hello? Are you sending that email?
CSR disconnects the call.
CSR: I’m going on break now.
1616 27th Avenue NE
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Interviewer: Have you ever had to deal with rude or irate clients over the telephone?
Asian interviewee: Yes, at my last job I had to call the USA, and you know how rude they can be.
Interviewer: Yes, I know all too well, considering I am American and so is this company. This interview is now finished. Try not to hit my car on your way out of the parking lot…You know how Asians can’t drive!
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Elle (the other interviewer)
Co-Worker #1: So is Mumbai, like, a country that we do business with?
Co-Worker #2: No, it’s a city! It used to be called Bombay before those imperialist American jerks finally pulled out and the native people got their land back.
Co-Worker #1: Oh. So it was Moscow that was the country I was thinking of?
Co-Worker #2: Probably.
323B 41st Avenue
Calgary, Canadia
Executive assistant: Ooohh! Are you speaking Spanish or Mexican?
Hull, Quebec
Co-Worker #1: That new guy is kind of creepy, like he’s going to come in and shoot up the place.
Co-Worker #2: Yeah, I know, he’s just plain scary.
Co-Worker #1: …and not because he’s brown.
17th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Dispatch God
Exec steals Nutri-Grain Bar from CEO.
CEO: Give that back!
Exec: No.
CEO, cornering exec and pushing him against the wall: Give that to me; that’s my Nutri-Grain!
Exec: You aren’t getting it back.
CEO: That’s stealing, man!
Exec: Buy some more! You’ve got the money!
CEO, releasing exec: You’re a real class act, man.
Exec unwraps and eats Nutri-Grain Bar.
5200 Dixie Road
Toronto, Ontario
